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Just In Time for President Trump, Astronaut Scott Kelly Returns to Earth

After a year in space, NASA astronaut Scott Kelly has returned to Earth, where things are currently going very well.


Landing in Kazakhstan immediately following Donald Trump’s Super Tuesday sweep, Kelly did not, for some reason, demand to be placed back in the shuttle and shot back into space.


“Scott has become the first American astronaut to spend a year in space, and in so doing, helped us take one giant leap toward putting boots on Mars,” NASA Administrator Charles Bolden said in a press release. In the year that Kelly has been at the International Space Station, he and the crew conducted a number of studies on the human body’s reaction to the effects of space; they also took spectacular photographs of the planet, which appeared, from that vantage point, very calm and beautiful.


While Kelly was floating 249 miles above us, an unprecedented refugee crisis spiraled, there were more mass shootings than days, the Zika virus spread “explosively,” Fuller House aired, we nearly lost Chipotle, Sarah Palin reappeared, and Donald J. Trump has all but secured the Republican nomination for President of the United States.

Not too late to turn around, bud! I hear the moon is nice this time of year?

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I love Chris and Mark Kelly. So glad we have two!

Thank you, Mark (and Gabby!)