Johnny Depp Joked About Assassinating Donald Trump

Johnny Depp, accused domestic abuser and confirmed dumbass, made a dumb joke Thursday night while giving at talk at the Glastonbury festival before screening The Libertine, the 2004 flop that he’s currently trying to convince people is actually quite good. During the conversation, the reanimated carcass asked the crowd in a voice that sounded like it was gurgling out of the mouth of a malnourished toad caught in a pipe under a sink whose drain has been clogged with garlic peels, spinach leaves, and diced tomatoes, “Can you bring Trump here?”


Per the New York Times, “the remark was met with booing and jeering,” but he continued, saying:

“You misunderstand completely. When was the last time an actor assassinated a president? I want to clarify: I’m not an actor. I lie for a living. However, it’s been a while and maybe it’s time... By the way, this is going to be in the press and it’ll be horrible. It’s just a question; I’m not insinuating anything.”

Oof, there’s a lot in there to unpack in there! First of all, it’s yet another example of a dumb celebrity making a lazy, entirely unhelpful, and perhaps even harmful joke about killing President Trump. Second of all, he says he “lies for a living,” which—while a “joke,” I guess—is particularly alarming given everything his Very Recent History with calling, oh, people like Amber Heard a liar. Third of all, you could almost interpret this as Depp suggesting that actor/assassin John Wilkes Booth’s actions were... desirable (by him, at least).

The point is that Johnny Depp is a dumbass who did something several times more inflammatory and worthy of outrage than Kathy Griffin. And it looks like that outrage has already begun.

[New York Times]

Kim Kardashian bought a Cartier watch acquired by Jackie Kennedy Onassis in February 1963, just months before the death of her husband, for $379,500. Per TMZ, Christie’s only expected it to rake in $120,000.


Though she bid anonymously by phone, I like to imagine this all went down like it did in The First Wives Club. (SJP is Kim, obviously.)


Speaking of the Kardashians, look who started playing the Flat Tummy tea game!


  • Ali Fedotowsky-Manno “is busy planning her daughter’s birthday party, balancing work and life, and partnering with great brands such as goodnessKNOWS snack squares to inform others about the importance of mindful snacking.” Who isn’t! [OK!]
  • Chance made fun of Aftermath Records (he called it Can’t Do Math records) and then apologized to Dr. Dre. Oop. [Variety]
  • But do you know who refuses to apologize? Halsey. [Hollywood Life]
  • This is a story about Ryan Reynolds working on his abs for Deadpool 2. Not interesting, but it led me to the IG of his personal trainer, which was fun to scroll through. The guy’s other clients: the sheriff from Stranger Things and Jim Parsons. [People]
  • Gregg Sulkin. I dunno. [TMZ]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man


JujyMonkey: unstable genius

Who are the dummies who think that tea is going to help them lose weight?