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John Oliver Wishes Us a Happy Fourth Of July, Reminds Us Our Accents Suck

John Oliver, host of Last Week Tonight and contender for Best British Human, has gifted his adopted country with a video in honor of Independence Day. But he also reminds viewers what our independence from Mother England has cost us young, scrappy, and hungry ruffians.


And frankly, Mr. Oliver, I feel personally attacked. Did you really have to lead with that barbed reference to American accents? “These beautiful vowel sounds could have been yours,” he crows, gesturing to his vocal cords. I’ll thank you to show more sensitivity to those of us who spent their childhoods acting out Frances Hodgson Burnett stories, desperately coaxing the dulcet tones of a posh London accent from our ill-equipped throats. And when the Spice Girls came along? Ah, to love was to suffer.

Excluding this tender matter, Oliver makes a strong case for our continued independence and, as per usual, he’s extraordinarily delightful. Enjoy.


Video via YouTube.

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Ossetia von Azerbaijan

I love John Oliver and all, but America’s 240th is taking a back seat this year when it’s this girl’s (ahem, woman’s) 18th...

Happy birthday, Malia! Please be friends with me and we can talk shit about the tricks who talked shit about your dad (and whom you laughed straight into the gutter where they belong).