Last Week Tonight with John Oliver tackled the weird Thanksgiving tradition of presidents pardoning turkeys (the things we actually eat during Thanksgiving).
We've been so wrapped up fighting the war on Christmas, we forgot to sit down and take some time to remember America's other shittiest holiday*, Thanksgiving. Oliver's show is on hiatus, but he still managed to give us this exclusive web clip so we don't forget how goddamn funny is before he gets back. In the clip, Oliver questions our absurdly adorable tradition of presidents choosing one special turkey (who "presumably moves to Mexico to live with Tim Robbins like they promised each other") to pardon each year. We pardon one turkey so we can feel good about eating the other 46 million, it seems.
All turkeys are guilty—very, very guilty, Oliver says. Of being freaking delicious. Damn straight.
*Ha, just kidding. I fucking love Thanksgiving. I am cooking a ridiculously huge meal next week because Thanksgiving food is THE BEST FOOD.