Jimmy Fallon Injured His Remaining Good Hand After Falling With a Bottle of Jägermeister

Jimmy Fallon used to have two working, non-injured hands. But after a particularly rowdy party at Harvard University over the weekend, he has none. Variety reports Fallon was holding a bottle of Jägermeister after accepting the Lampoon award, when he fell and presumably sliced his hand open on the shattered glass.

Here’s video of the tragedy:

After the tumble, Jimmy Bandagehands “made a brief trip to Massachusetts General Hospital,” and now looks like this:

Say a prayer for his feet.

[Variety]

Ciara was “overwhelmed with emotion” by the surprise birthday party her boyfriend Russell Wilson planned and, because of their agreement, had nowhere to channel it.

People reports she had no idea what to expect of the evening:

Ciara was given a list of “carefully planned instructions, a Catwoman suit and a mask to quickly change into” before the Seattle Seahawks quarterback whisked her off in the car to the Batman exhibit on the lot, where around 100 of her closest family and friends were waiting for her.

After all her friends and family screamed Surprise!!, she cried “tears of joy.” But I’m thinking there were some tears of sadness mixed in, too. Because, come on, she and Russell have to go home, take off their Catwoman and Batman costumes, and go straight to sleep? What a tragedy.

[People]

Here’s a good quote that was said by both Lana Del Rey and me:

“It’s hard for me sometimes to think about going on when I know we’re going to die.”

[Celebitchy]

Lamar Odom is “doing much better.” [Us Weekly]
Bobbi Kristina Brown’s roommate said she “probably smoked crack often, and also did heroin.” [Radar Online]
Rupert Murdoch keeps finding women who want to do stuff with him. [Dlisted]
Tyga’s ex Blac Chyna just got a tattoo of Ciara’s ex Future on her hand because famous people never feel like meeting new people. [TMZ]
I never remember who Colton Haynes is but, look, he dressed up as Ursula. [THL]
Slayyyyyy mom!!!! Look at Chrissy Teigen flaunt that baby bump! Yas motherhood!!!!! [E! Online]