Jezebel's Cancel Tournament: Everyone Hates Influencers

Jezebel's Cancel Tournament: Everyone Hates Influencers

Year in Review 2019Year in Review 2019Remembering the year that you, me, and everyone we know was canceled. Rest in peace

Welcome to the next leg of Jezebel’s Cancel Tournament. On Wednesday, we cut down the Lifestyle and Concepts Divisions to determine which obsessed-about trends deserve to be canceled most. Judging by the responses, this was an easy round of voting—those who won the right to be canceled won by a lot. Can’t wait to see which evil things canceled out other evil things?

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In Vapes (1) vs. Soulcycle (8), vapes will progress, having scored 61.8 percent of the vote over stationary bikes. The Greatest Show on Earth is Influencers (4) vs. Feelings (5), and yes, it’s still Influencers, which earned 95.8 percent of votes, “winning” by a mile. Keto Dieting (6) has been canceled over Wellness (14), 71 percent to 29 percent. In the race between All YouTubers (7) and Spray Tans (15), vloggers will continue on in the cancel bracket, 59.9 percent to 40.1 percent. I am not shocked. Men (9) have been canceled over Calling People “Human” (16), 59.5 percent to 40.5 percent, as has E M P O W E R M E N T (12) over The Discourse (13), 60.9 percent to 39.1 percent. Brands on Twitter (6) are out of the race, but Celebrity Religious Cults (3) will advance, with 67.7 percent of votes. And in the showdown no one expected: you want Cryptocurrency (15) to be canceled over Robots (7), 85.6 percent to 14.4 percent.

Today, you’re voting the determine which two topics in each division will still be in the running for America’s Top Canceled Thing. For Celebrity and Arts, is it Kanye West (8) or Logan Paul (12)? Reboots (14) or Cable TV (2)? In the Politics division, we have Bret Stephens (16) vs. Ivanka Trump’s Nazi Dog (12), and Meghan McCain (6) vs. The FOX News Blondes (10)?

The Lifestyle faceoff is: Vapes (1) vs. Influencers (4) and Keto Dieting (6) vs. All YouTubers (7)? And for Concepts, will Men (9) overtake E M P O W E R M E N T (12) and how much do you hate Celebrity Religious Cults (3) vs. Cryptocurrency (15)?

You have 24 hours to cast your vote below.

There are 8 questions in the form below. Once you vote, the next question will pop up. To go back and change a vote, click the arrows. Click “Submit” at the end to make sure your votes count! Remember you’re voting for the thing you’d like to be canceled.

The results will determine which two final subjects will face off in each division. It’s so exciting, I may piss myself.

Here’s the updated bracket, to remind you of what’s on the line:

Illustration for article titled Jezebels Cancel Tournament: Everyone Hates Influencers
Illustration: Jim Cooke (G/O Media

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

mireilleco
Mireille is sensational, like a She-Hulk

Never thought I’d vote against vapes, but influencers are undeniably worse.