Jezebel Investigates: Who Is Joe Biden's Favorite Peloton Instructor?

Illustration for article titled Jezebel Investigates: Who Is Joe Biden's Favorite Peloton Instructor?
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President Joe Biden owns a Peloton, this much we know for sure. He must also love this machine because as Gizmodo’s Caitlin McGarry correctly pointed out, once you get the bike you become part of the Peloton family. So it stands to reason that Biden must also have a favorite Peloton instructor. But who could it possibly be? Jezebel asked the White House for comment on this important political issue, but they have yet to respond.

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Since the White House remains silent on the issue, I resorted to social media. I went through Biden’s non-POTUS social media accounts to try and get to know this man who runs the country and pedals the leaderboard. To my dismay, I discovered that Biden doesn’t follow any Peloton instructors on social media and doesn’t even follow Peloton’s company account. What I was able to deduce is that Biden is in fact a very simple older white man who seems to be a fan of women athletes. Aside from following his political colleagues, the president follows Megan Rapinoe and Ellena Della Donne, both excellent choices.

We also know that Biden is deeply invested in fitness because he talks about it so damn much. This leads me to believe that he would appreciate a challenging teacher, however, he is very old so maybe he frequents low-impact classes as opposed to, say, Ally Love’s interval and arms classes.

To help with this investigation, I turned to a small community of four Peloton owners to find out who they think might be the president’s favorite instructor. Of the focus group, two voted for Jess Sims and had excellent reasoning as to why she could be the chosen one. “She’s very technical, she is the Anthony Fauci of instructors,” Lifehacker’s Joel Kahn explained.

Sims’s clear and technique-focused instruction is undeniable and also wonderful, but I question if she can be the presidential favorite when I take into account that Sims doesn’t teach low-impact ride classes. Sims does, however, teach plenty of bike bootcamp classes that combine cycling and weight training in one 30-45 minute package. This would be a huge time saver for the president, who reportedly used to start every day with “a workout in an upstairs gym that contains a Peloton bike, weights and a treadmill.” It’s worth noting that Sims also teaches treadmill-based classes, which play into Biden’s repertoire.

But the looming question is still, could Joe Biden take instruction every single day from a woman? Maybe, maybe not. So I looked to the men of Peloton for some shred of evidence that might lead me to a favorite. The natural frontrunner is Cody Rigsby, a young, white, all-American guy with an enthusiastic coaching style that can put a smile on anybody’s face. He also has a body type that feels achievable unlike his very hot bulky colleague, Denis Morton, another amiable white man. What makes this option even more compelling is that Rigsby follows Joe Biden’s non-POTUS Instagram account, unlike Morton and Sims, who don’t follow Biden at all. In fact, of all the Peloton instructors based in the US, seven of them follow Joe Biden on social media.

But what if, behind closed doors, Biden is an enlightened individual able to balance his masculine and feminine energies when he’s alone pedaling a bike to nowhere? He could genuinely just want the best workout he can get and not simply look to be validated by a certain instructor like some people. (I am some people.) The obvious answer in that situation would be the famed Robin Arzon—or as my Pelo-bestie Emily Alford put it, “A smart woman of color telling him what to do is kind of his vibe.” (Although can anyone really imagine Joe Biden following Arzon’s favorite instruction of straightening your invisible crown?)

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Putting together a semi-enlightened Biden, with a man that wants a good workout not just to stay alive but to prove a point, and the fact that he is partial to women athletes and intelligent women of color it would seem that there is only one answer to the important political question of our time: Jess Sims is Joe Biden’s favorite Peloton instructor. We will update this post if the White House gets back to us.

DISCUSSION

exileonmystreet
exileonmystreet

Sorry, but it’s Matt Wilpers for sure. Nice white guy, very technical, on the tread and bike horrible Matchbox 20/Imagine Dragons type music.