It’s still extremely early in the presidential elections, with most candidates having not yet formally declared themselves and most media outlets far from making their endorsements. We’re not most media outlets. Today, Jezebel is formally throwing our support behind Limberbutt McCubbins of Louisville, Kentucky.
McCubbins is a very real candidate, formally registered with the Federal Elections Commission and everything. He lists himself as a Democrat on FEC forms. And a cat. He’s also a cat.
McCubbins’ treasurer is 17-year-old Isaac Weiss, who explained to NPR member station WFPL that he entered McCubbins in the race. McCubbins lives with Weiss’s friend, 18-year-old Emilee McCubbins.
Weiss created McCubbins’ campaign committee (titled “The Committee for the Installation of Limberbutt”) after realizing that it sure is easy to run for president: “Anyone can easily run for president, which is why if you go to the FEC website you’ll see over 200 people listed—including Limberbutt,” Weiss told WFPL.
According to his official campaign page, McCubbins, albeit unemployed, is an ambitious young candidate, dedicated to ending the scourge of laser pointer dots across America:
So grateful to NPR and WFPL for spreading our story. Together, we can make this journey; we can cross this terrain; we can catch this red dot. God bless you all. #meowisthetime
On July 4, McCubbins outlined a few more campaign proposals:
On this here 4th of July, I, Limberbutt McCubbins, promise to work my hardest for every American. If elected as your president, I will create millions of jobs in the fireworks sector to annoy those dogs who are ruining our economy. God bless and what not. Here’s to another year of American supremacy.
On a Democratic Underground poll, McCubbins is tied for first place with a Florida man whose last name is Capone, which is clearly just a bad idea on its face.
Jezebel is endorsing McCubbins not just because he’s a cat—not just because his name has the word “butt” in it—but because we confidently believe he’ll be about as good for this country as any other presidential candidate, and notably better than Scott Walker. We’ll even forgive him for referring to himself as a “demo-cat.” (Too much, McCubbins.)
As a bonus, here is the recent editorial summit (group chat) in which Jezebel decided to throw our support behind McCubbins. As you can see, things grew heated, but we feel confident in our choice:
Anna Merlan [2:36 PM] ok
Anna Merlan [2:36 PM] i will personally endorse this cat
Anna Merlan [2:36 PM] and will endorse him for jezebel without asking any of you
jia tolentino [2:36 PM] i’m a mccubbins supporter
Anna Merlan [2:36 PM] i am doing this unilaterally
clover [2:36 PM] i support
Kate Dries [2:36 PM] i’m abstaining
Anna Merlan [2:36 PM] Jezebel Endorses Limberbutt McCubbins, Cat, For President
Kate Dries [2:36 PM] ok
jia tolentino [2:36 PM] KATE’S IN
Kate Dries [2:36 PM] i’m pro
Kate Dries [2:36 PM] now
Anna Merlan [2:36 PM] thanks kate
Anna Merlan [2:37 PM] sometimes you just have to see his policy laid out. “Cat.”
Kate Dries [2:37 PM] so easily swayed by a badly named cat
jia tolentino [2:37 PM] hahahahaha
jia tolentino [2:37 PM] his platform, this windowsill, is impressive
Image via Facebook/Limberbutt 2016