Advertisement
Advertisement

“If you love something, you don’t radically transform it,” he told Fox Friend Steve Doocy. “Like your wife. She doesn’t make you love ballet. She doesn’t make you grow your hair long and smoke dope. She likes you how you are. A straight-edge nice American boy. That’s what the Democrats are doing. They’re trying to open the borders, destroy capitalism, institute socialism, ban hamburgers. And that’s not very American, and we’re not gonna let them do it.”

In the best relationships, you reportedly remain married to your wife Noelle while you begin dating a 25-year-old associate producer on the show you work on, you inform the network of that fact only after your wife files for divorce, and your girlfriend is transferred to work for Laura Ingraham. A beautiful metaphor all around.