Here are four things that have happened in the past week: 1) Ariane Bellamar said she was once “cornered” by actor Jeremy Piven, then groped. 2) Cassidy Freeman accused Jeremy Piven of “predatory behavior” when she was “far too young.” 3) Tiffany Bacon Scourby said Piven once jumped on top of her in a hotel room, masturbated while she was pinned down, and ejaculated on her. 4) Jeremy Piven said, “The accusations against me are absolutely false and completely fabricated.”
But that’s not where his statement, released Thursday, ends. After offering to take a polygraph test (which are notoriously unreliable, by the way) and saying he feels “compassion for the victims of such acts,” Piven’s statement begins to drift into something much more irritating. He writes:
“We seem to be entering dark times—allegations are being printed as facts and lives are being put in jeopardy without a hearing, due process or evidence I hope we can give people the benefit of a doubt before we rush to judgment. Continuing to tear each other down and destroy careers based on mere allegations is not productive on any level. I hope we can use this moment to begin a constructive dialogue on these issues, which are real and need to be addressed.”
A good way to spot someone who has not even the slightest grasp on the significance of this recent groundswell of sexual assault/harassment victims speaking out about their experiences is that they all seem to think the “dark times” just began, like, a month ago.
Piven...it’s been dark.
Back in January, former <3er of Taylor Swift Tom Hiddleston was spotted having lunch and taking an “evening stroll” with a “mystery brunette.” The tabloids were compelled by the news until discovering the woman was none other than Taffy Brodesser-Akner, a writer who spent time with Hiddleston for a GQ profile. (You remember—the one where he cooks her some leftover Bolognese.)
This week, Hiddleston was spotted with another mystery brunette on the eve of ex-girlfriend’s latest album release. I’m thinking that this time it’s real love.
Speaking of, do we care about this?
- Owen Wilson said he was nervous about meeting Julia Roberts for the first time...because...he is human. [Just Jared]
- It’s hard to praise Mark Duplass for having his heart in the right place when Daddy’s Home 2 is involved. [IndieWire]
- Full disclosure: I did not read past the headline because I was too shaken up. [Celebitchy]
- Shut up about this marriage!!!! You both have great genes and are in love!!!! We get it!!! [E! Online]
- Let’s end today’s Dirt Bag on the happiest of notes. [Instagram]