Jennifer Garner Is in Awe of Her Fungus-Like Children

Kids are great and for mom-of-three Jennifer Garner, they are also a fascinating natural occurrence, much like mushrooms! It’s a strange comparison, but Garner stays up pretty late at night according to her Instagram, so this all tracks.

On Wednesday night, Garner reposted a story from the Science Channel which showed a sped-up version of a mushroom growing. The actor captioned the video with, “Please enjoy this accurate representation of my kids’ current growth rate.”

At this point, I’d usually have something extremely quippy to say but I don’t know shit about kids and how they grow, so if Jennifer Garner wants to tell me that children grow out of the ground and are edible then I choose to believe her. I hope she pairs those kids with a nice white wine when they’re fully harvested. [E!]

---

Celine Dion is at the center of some minor NHL beef. Ahead of a Tuesday match between the Los Vegas Knights and the Montreal Canadiens, an image of Dion sporting Knights gear went up on the jumbotron. Naturally, fans were extremely confused as Dion is famously Canadian and therefore the patron saint of the Habs. The Vegas Knights tried to play up on the fact that Dion’s residency is in Las Vegas but the singer made sure to set the record straight, saying the image was a fake and posting a real one instead. [TMZ]

---

• Kanye West is suing Walmart. [TMZ]
• Danny Glover and Samuel L. Jackson are set to receive honorary awards at next year’s Oscars. [People]
• Mothers shouldn’t have to explain choosing formula for their babies but Ashley Tisdale is doing that because the world is a difficult place. [E!]
• The shark tattoo is gone. [E!]
• Cher is on TikTok. [Allure]
• Winston Marshall is quitting Mumford & Sons to follow his passion, talking about right-wing conspiracy theories. [Vulture]