Illustration for article titled Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux and Alia Shawkat Are All Doing Just Fine!
Graphic: Jezebel/Joan Summers, Photo: Getty Images

For 15 years, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have been living rent-free in tabloid headlines while generations of gossips and reporters and cultural commentators debate their health and wellness. Meanwhile, both are doing absolutely fine!

Page Six reports that the most famous former couple in the world are just as broken up and happy has ever. (They’re fine!) With both back in the news for their various projects, like The Morning Show and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, tabloids have been ramping up the speculation that maybe—just maybe!—the two will reunite. Others, with more nefarious intentions, claim that award shows will be a disaster, with each trying their best to avoid the other while surrounded by scores of Page Six and People and TMZ spies.

Sources, however, claim that “there won’t be any issues, no tension.” In other words: They’re fine! The source continues: “Brad and Jen are still friends. They speak once in a while, and even though there are these fools who say they’re getting back together, of course they’re not. But they will always be fond of each other.” (How many times does this person have to tell you how absolutely fine these two people are?)

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And while Pitt has recently been spotted with actor Alia Shawkat, tipsters also stress to Page Six that “they’re just friends.” Which means nobody needs to speculate how Jennifer Aniston might feel about photographs of them together, because all three are absolutely fine! And to prove how fine she is specifically, Aniston even invited ex-Justin Theroux to her Thanksgiving celebration. Would a not-fine person do that? I don’t think so!

Illustration for article titled Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt and Justin Theroux and Alia Shawkat Are All Doing Just Fine!
Screenshot: Justin Theroux (Instagram)
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Jennifer Aniston is fine. Justin Theroux is fine. Brad Pitt is fine. And Alia Shawkat? She is definitely fine, and doing better than ever! [Page Six]


Yesterday, the New York Times reported that Harvey Weinstein has reached a tentative settlement agreement—to the tune of $25 million—that would allow him to slither out of admitting wrongdoing, or the fact that he raped and harassed countless women. While shocking, the news also felt perfectly in line with how absolutely impossible it seems to be for any of those accused of sexual abuse these last few years to suffer the consequences of their behavior. (Matt Lauer comes to mind, chilling in his massive Hamptons mansion.)

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Shortly after the news broke, Emily Ratajkowski showed up at the premiere of Uncut Gems in Los Angeles with “Fuck Harvey” prominently scrawled across her arm.” Accompanying, this, she posted a message on Instagram with the hashtag, “#nojusticenopeace.”

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As the situation develops, and more details begin to surface about the alleged settlement and what it means for his many, many victims, I’m confident that Ratajkowski will not be the only actor or celebrity to speak out. [Just Jared]


This is a good coat, Bella Hadid.

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  • Mila Kunis bought herself some coffee. [Just Jared]
  • Sonja Morgan on Tinsley Mortimer’s alleged exit from RHONY: “She’s never really been a New Yorker, she’s been living in a hotel, and you know I’m happy that she’s happy. She’s much happier where she is, let me tell you that. I can see it. … I’m not going to miss filming with her — what I’m going to miss is seeing her often.” [Us Weekly]
  • Bethenny Frankel is pivoting to Goop. [People]
  • Juice WRLD’s family hopes their son’s death “will help others win their battles as that is what he wanted more than anything.” [TMZ]

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DISCUSSION

So the story about Jen, Brad, Justin, and Alia is just to confirm what keeps being confirmed. No one is dating and they are all fine and friendly? I cannot wait for the next time we get updated with this same information.

It is kind of amazing that Brad and Jen have been divorced for three times as long as they were married and there is still speculation swirling around them. I’m sure to them, their marriage feels like a lifetime ago.