Jenni 'JWoww' Farley Says Her Estranged Husband Abused Her

Illustration for article titled Jenni JWoww Farley Says Her Estranged Husband Abused Her
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Jenni Farley, better known by her Jersey Shore nickname JWoww, has released a letter accusing her estranged husband Roger Mathews of abuse, and also posted a clip allegedly depicting Farley throwing her to the ground.

In a long letter posted to her website, the 32-year-old leveled a number of allegations against Mathews:

“You are an abuser to the core, Roger Mathews…. You have spit at me. You have pushed me. You have shoved me. You have aggressively thrown me to the ground. You have prevented me from closing doors to escape having you coming at me. You have belittled and disparaged me. You have threatened me.”

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Farley and Mathews separated in 2018 after three years of marriage. In the letter, she accuses Mathews of a long list of offenses, including contacting ex-boyfriend Thomas Lippolis, who she said physically abused her, as well as calling the authorities to “falsely accuse me of harming our children.”

In addition to the letter, Farley also posted multiple videos that appear to show her and Mathews fighting; in one of them, it looks like he throws her to the ground.

In December, Farley got a temporary restraining order against Mathews that resulted in him leaving their house.

Night blogger at Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

bananabunny
Bananabunny

Since we’re talking about what happened to Jenni Farley, I think this is also a good opportunity to share some of the red flags to look for in our own relationships (athough I might disagree about the number of chances the author suggests giving the other person, I think her advice is pretty solid):

HOW CAN I TELL IF A MAN I’M SEEING WILL BECOME ABUSIVE?

• He speaks disrespectfully about his former partners.
• He is disrespectful toward you.
• He does favors for you that you don’t want or puts on such a show of generosity that it makes you uncomfortable.
• He is controlling.
• He is possessive.
• Nothing is ever his fault.
• He is self-centered.
• He abuses drugs or alcohol.
• He pressures you for sex.
• He gets serious too quickly about the relationship.
• He intimidates you when he’s angry.
• He has double standards.
• He has negative attitudes toward women.
• He treats you differently around other people.
• He appears to be attracted to vulnerability.
No single one of the warning signs above is a sure sign of an abusive man, with the exception of physical intimidation. Many nonabusive men may exhibit a umber of these behaviors to a limited degree. What, then, should a woman do to protect herself from having a relationship turn abusive?
Although there is no foolproof solution, the best plan is:
1. Make it clear to him as soon as possible which behaviors or attitudes are unacceptable to you and that you cannot be in a relationship with him if they continue.
2. If it happens again, stop seeing him for a substantial period of time. Don’t keep seeing him with the warning that this time you “really mean it,” because he will probably interpret that to mean that you don’t.
3. If it happens a third time, or if he switches to other behaviors that are warning flags, chances are great that he has an abuse problem. If you give him too many chances, you are likely to regret it later.
Finally, be aware that as an abuser begins his slide into abuse, he believes that you are the one who is changing. His perceptions work this way because he feels so justified in his actions that he can’t imagine the problem might be with him. All he notices is that you don’t seem to be living up to his image of the perfect, all-giving, deferential woman.”

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men