Lawyer guy and employee of the esteemed New Yorker was suspended on Monday after reportedly masturbating during a Zoom call with staff from the New Yorker and WNYC radio. As Twitter pundits discuss and debate the purely accidental nature of showing your dick on camera or masturbating during working hours, reasonable human beings are horrified by the fact that anyone, specifically a man so inserted in public discourse, would really say fuck my job and rub one out during a meeting. As it turns out, this kind of shitty behavior is par for the course for Toobin.
In 2010 the Daily News reported that Toobin, who was working at CNN at the time and was an analyst with CNN until—checks calendar—yesterday, allegedly sexually harassed another media figure for months. That information came to light while Toobin was in family court after being sued by Casey Greenfield, with whom had an affair while Toobin was married. Greenfield became pregnant during the affair and, ever the gentleman, Toobin allegedly offered her money for an abortion, which Greenfield did not accept.
When reporting the alleged harassment story in 2010, the Daily News was unwilling to print what Toobin said to the woman he was allegedly harassing, claiming it was too graphic for a family newspaper. However, the woman claimed that Toobin followed her to her hotel room on one occasion, and after she rebuffed him several times, he called her office and “left several sick messages” which the paper could only describe as “vile.”
As if matters could get any worse, Toobin got moral policed by one of the few people on this earth who doesn’t have a leg to stand on—O.J. Simpson, about whom Toobin wrote a book in 1996—but still managed to make some solid points. What does it actually take to get men canceled these days if alleged serial harassment and workplace dick exposures aren’t enough?
DISCUSSION
There are actually people lining up to defend this idiot! Like, yes, this pandemic has introduced a whole host of challenges, and the necessities of remote work and meetings have left everyone needing to adjust to how they do things. But I can say the easiest part of my workday, every single day, has been not masturbating on camera in front of my coworkers! Like, there are so many failsafes built into my daily work process that not masturbating in front of my coworkers has become practically second nature by now. Many of those processes, for example “When you’re in a meeting for work, be wearing pants,” and “When you’re in a meeting for work, don’t be masturbating” actually transition pretty seamlessly from the in-person office environment to the remote-work environment.