Jeff Sessions Was Forced Out of His Favorite Job Ever

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Image: AP

A very petite barf for you all today, since we covered a lot of shit in the last 24 hours.


Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • It finally happened: Attorney General Jeff Sessions, racist Keebler elf of our nightmares, has been fired. ABC News reports that Sessions resigned at Trump’s request. In a resignation letter, Sessions wrote: “Since the day I was honored to be sworn in as Attorney General of the United States, I came to work at the Department of Justice every day determined to do my duty and serve my country. I have done so to the best of my ability, working to support the fundamental legal processes that are the foundation of justice.” Despite having a policy agenda that was very much in line with Trump’s vision of America—most notably his hardline approach to immigration and support of the administration’s disastrous child separation program—there has been bad blood between Trump and Sessions ever since Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigation in March of 2017. Since then, Trump has regularly taunted Sessions and made it clear that his tenure as at attorney general would be short lived. Matthew Whitaker will serve as acting attorney general and will oversee the Russia probe.
  • Say hello to Mr. Whitaker, everybody!
  • Whitaker was involved in a marketing scam that was shut down by the Federal Trade Commission last year. Normal! [Miami New Times]
  • In his first press conference after the midterm elections, Trump kept to a modest script of a limp push for bipartisanship and boasting of the Republican victories despite the Republicans losing the House of Representatives. But the presser took a wild turn when he took questions from journalists, notably during a heated exchange with CNN’s Jim Acosta, the official enemy of the Trump administration. Here’s a supercut of some of the wildest moments from Trump’s first presser since the midterm elections:
  • Nancy Pelosi said some more bullshit about “bipartisanship” and “common ground” today. [CBS]
  • Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani apparently spent $12,000 on cigars and $7,000 on pens, according to divorce court records. [NBC]
  • Homophobe running for Congress in Missouri lost to the Democratic incumbent. His children ran an ad pleading with voters not to vote for him a week before the election. [NBC]
  • Colorado finally ended slavery. Yes, really. [NPR]
  • Nevada voters got rid of the state’s “pink tax” on menstrual products during yesterday’s midterms. [CNN]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.



A thought to put the smile on everyone’s face.

Mike Pence is going to have to swear in two female Members of Congress using the Koran.