James Franco Reviews Gatsby, Is Reminded of Fingerbanging

Illustration for article titled James Franco Reviews Gatsby, Is Reminded of Fingerbanging

James Franco penned a review of The Great Gatsby for Vice. A few highlights:

There have been objections to his use of 3D, but frankly it’s a nonissue. It works, and is neither distracting nor game changing . You just deal with it because you want to. It’s fun to watch.

And, more importantly:

Gatsby’s desire is revealed to be that of a 16-year-old boy: not only does he want to win Daisy, he wants to control her affections. It reminds me of my high school relationships, where I tortured girlfriends for getting fingered by other boys when they were freshmen. Just move on, dude.


Tortured. Fingered. Dude.

But ultimately:

In the end, Luhrmann made it work, and that’s all that matters. The movie held together. We watched the story, we felt things, we were transported and we were engaged.


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When partners ask about your sexual history, refuse to say anything. I cannot stress this enough, people. Nothing weeds out freaks you don't need to be spending your time with like refusing to say anything about your sexual history. The bunny boilers will bail out, the normal people will wonder why they asked.