If you weren’t familiar with music producer Jack Antonoff and actor Margaret Qualley, you could take one look at Page Six’s exhaustive coverage from outside the star-studded event that took place Saturday on New Jersey’s Long Beach Island (at least 10 stories spanning the rehearsal dinner and the wedding are on the gossip rag’s homepage at the moment) and assume these were some royals you’d never heard of from a country that you also never heard of. But no...it’s just Jack Antonoff and Margaret Qualley. What’s more, the coverage has been dominated by the comings and goings of superstar guest Taylor Swift, who in terms of sheer media attention, upstaged the proceedings with her mere presence. At least she didn’t wear white! She left that to Lana del Rey, who, according to Page Six’s headline was “slammed for wearing white dress, platform sliders” to the event. Maybe this was a that’s-so-Lana choice to perform sartorial commentary on Americana and the arbitrariness of social mores. Or maybe she just didn’t give a fuck.
Anyway, some highlights via Page Six’s breathless reporting:
- Swifties swarmed and shut down an entire street adjacent to rehearsal dinner venue the Black Whale, where their hero celebrated the to-be-weds inside. These kind of mobs that follow Swift wherever she goes are the most convincing argument against fame and its aspirations this side of Britney Spears’ Instagram.
- To the wedding, Swift wore “a light blue lace corset dress from Erdem featuring romantic ruffles” that Page Six helpfully points out “is currently on sale for $1,259,” down from its original $4,125. Thrifty Swiftie.
- Meanwhile, Qualley “stunned in a white satin gown with a plunging neckline,” donning ballet flats and a “billowing veil.”
- Swift’s in-and-out ex Matty Healy did not attend, but his bandmate, the 1975 drummer George Daniel, did. He “was seen chatting with Lana Del Rey while smoking what appeared to be a cigarette.” On his ability to exist in the same venue with Swift without, I guess, throwing food or fists, Page Six reports: “No ‘Bad Blood’ here.” What a relief!!!
- Another blast from Swift’s past: Cara Delevingne, who was spotted getting into Swift’s SUV around 1:20 a.m., Page Six adds: “They spent three hours inside the nightclub section of Jersey Shore hot spot Bird and Betty’s, where they danced and watched the newlyweds cut the wedding cake.”
Other bold-faced names in attendance included: Channing Tatum, Zoë Kravitz, and Qualley’s mom Andie McDowell. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, if the pictures taken at a distance are an indication, but not everyone on LBI was happy. Page Six found some people who had nothing to do with the wedding and everything to do with one Beach Haven White Marlin Invitational fishing competition that was also taking place that weekend. “Fuck the wedding,” said someone on the patio of Bird & Betty’s, whose nightclub area was taken over by the wedding party. “They should’ve planned it on a different weekend.” How dare Antonoff and Qualley not think of the fisherpeople!
- In other wedding news, Tish Cyrus (mother of Miley Cyrus) married Prison Break’s Dominic Purcell this weekend in Malibu. [E! News]
- Abuse lawsuits against Michael Jackson filed by Leaving Neverland subjects Wade Robson and James Safechuck have been given the go-head to move forward. [New York Times]
- This Is Us actor Ron Cephas Jones is dead at 66. [Deadline]
- A great headline that no added commentary will top: “Logan Paul Says He Walked Out of Oppenheimer: ‘Nothing Happened.’” [The Hollywood Reporter]
- Abbi Jacobson is pissed that her A League of Their Own series won’t be getting a second season after all. [Variety]