Jennifer Lopez — or at least her PR team — is super sorry that she "graciously obliged" to perform a private concert for the catchily-named President of Turkmenistan Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, an oppressive, torture-endorsing, Human Rights Watch-provoking, war mongering dictator and Jennifer Lopez fan. A Team Lopez rep says: "Had there been knowledge of human rights issues any kind, Jennifer would not have attended." Nobody knows from Google?
How much did she make off the concert? Not sure, but she was offered $2 million in exchange for a similar performance for Gaddafi's son. Too bad Mussolini's dead; he would have loved waving a glowstick around to a private rendition of "Waiting for Tonight."
And out of Jessica Simpson's womb slid another one of Simpson's and NFL player Eric Johnson's plentiful children. And they called the male child Ace Knute Johnson, and he was destined to be compared to an Internet-famous German polar bear (RIP) throughout his adolescence. Worst name ever. Amen. [TMZ]
That porn deal for Paula Deen we all knew was coming (GET IT?) has arrived, via a company called PureMature.com.
In the letter, PM starts by explaining to Paula she's a MILF — a hot mom over the age of 65 who men would like to (you know). It continues with the job offer adding, "Full figured of thin, arthritic or diabetic — you embody our perfect spokesperson."
Wade Robson, one of the former children now up against the Michael Jackson Estate, claimed that documents compiled by a private investigator prove that Jackson spent $35 million worth of hush money on 24 boys and their families. "He feels his case could be helped if he could get another child or even more to come out and accuse Michael of similar crimes." London's tabloid Sunday People corroborated Robson's story separately. [NYDN]
Demi Lovato said things.
"When I look at someone who's out there partying excessively or rappers rapping about doing drugs, who people look up to, and think, Oh that's a G; that's a gangster. I think, You're actually being a giant pussy. If you're spending your entire early 20s chasing the next party, what are you running away from? That's not a badass. What's a badass is when you can sit through your problems and feel emotions when you don't want to have them."
And on her late father: "My father dealt with mental illnesses and he wasn’t able to function in society and that happens to a lot of people. There's an overwhelming sense of peace knowing my dad is no longer battling his demons anymore and that makes me so happy."
- Lindsay Lohan will seclude herself to prevent a relapse following rehab. [TMZ]
- (One-time homophobe) Brett "Cocaine Flopsweat" Ratner supports Christine Quinn for NYC Mayor. [TMZ]
- North West will not be revealed on Kris Jenner's talk show. [TMZ]
- Khloe Instagrammed a picture of Kim sleeping if you are interested in such things. [Us Weekly]
- Brad Pitt and Shia LaBeouf toured the National Training Center for the military and talked to soldiers for research for parts. [Desert Dispatch]
- Sienna Miller and Tom Sturridge look absolutely hideous in their Burberry ads. [People]
- A Cirque de Soleil performer named Sarah Guyard was killed after falling 50 feet during a Vegas performance. [People]
- The adorable Jayma Mays is leaving Glee. [E!]
- Brooke Hogan is engaged to some dude who plays for the Dallas Cowboys. [Us Weekly]
- Lena Dunham and Jemima Kirke clowned on Miley Cyrus' "We Can't Stop." [NYDN]
- Jim Carrey feels bad about his upcoming movie Kick-Ass 2 given the circumstances of gun violence since filming. [Newser]
- Farrah Abraham has entered rehab for alcoholism. [Radar Online]
- Miley Cyrus's top almost fell off, or whatever. [E!]