J. Lo and A-Rod Bought a Very Expensive House That Will Likely Sink Into the Sea

By Joan Summers  |  August 17, 2020 | 2:33pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
J. Lo and A-Rod Bought a Very Expensive House That Will Likely Sink Into the Sea
Image:Mike Coppola (Getty Images)

On August 14, TMZ broke the story that Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez had purchased a $40 million mansion on Miami’s enviable Star Island, an abode for the ultra-rich like Diddy, Shaq, and Rosie O’Donnell. Even Jeff Bezos is reportedly eyeing property on it! But in the hubbub around the sale, however, a pesky voice whispered to me: “Isn’t that shit sinking underwater?”

Technically, yes. Star Island, by some scientist’s accounts, could eventually find itself flooded with almost three feet of water by 2060. According to a report in The Nation and Le Monde Diplomatique back in June: “The sea level here has risen by 2.8 inches since 1992, but the rate of increase has accelerated in the past 15 years and it could rise another 2.8 feet by 2060.” As reporter Laura Raim poignantly notes, “For once, millionaires in their beachfront homes in Miami Beach or nearby Fisher Island, Star Island, and Indian Creek are not exempt from loss.”

Still, TMZ reports that celebrities on the island, as well as its non-famous inhabitants, are thrilled the couple is moving in. According to sources who spoke with the outlet, the famous duo is expected to push property values to astronomical heights, while potentially luring in some of their famous friends. (Or, at least, securing Jeff Bezos’ desire to purchase not one, but two whole properties on the island.)

Florida state officials have long been criticized, especially by the youth, for their inaction on climate change amid the very real threat of rising sea levels. Despite this, the rich continue gobbling up every piece of beachfront property left on Florida’s coastlines. For now, I’m just going to ponder what diabolical plans Jeff Bezos has for the residents of Star Island.

Lance Bass, who claims to know absolutely nothing at all, sure did talk a lot about what he believes is going on in Britney Spears’ personal life!

Just Jared, who did the helpful work of listening to his recent episode of The Daily Popcast, compiled some choice quotes from the Vanderpump Rules guest star about Spears’ conservatorship. This should be prefaced with the most illuminating one: “I get a lot of questions about this, but I always stay silent because I’m like, ‘I don’t know.’ If I had something positive or some real information to share I probably would.” If only it stopped there!

“Obviously she’s got some problems. I don’t know what she’s going through, I don’t know exactly what her diagnoses are but online these videos are definitely out of character for her. This is kind of a new thing. So something’s going on. I think that’s why a lot of the fans are like, ‘She’s being held hostage because she’s acting so strange,’ but I think it could just be her medication doing this. […] She feels very happy and wants to do these video. I don’t see any danger in it. I think they’re kind of fun and positive […] I would be more worried if she disappeared from social media.”

Thanks for the “input,” Mr. “I Don’t Know.”

I do have an honest question. I’m not trying to be mean, or judgemental, I just really, really, really want to know. Who are all these people? Are they Wyoming residents? Are they members of a congregation that were flown out to Wyoming? Did Kanye assemble all these singers for a church service just for his family? I can see this has turned into a series of questions… but this shit is mysterious, correct? I know I’m not overthinking this!

I cannot believe it’s been two fucking years already.

Madonna is in Jamaica.

What are the kids saying? Oh, yes. “Inch resting…”