Ivanka Trump Used a Private Email Account, Except Unlike [REDACTED], She'll Get Away With It

Two years after Hillary Clinton lost the presidential race to a rotting hair ham “because her emails,” the Washington Post reported today that Ivanka Trump has sent hundreds of official emails from a personal account. Do you ever want to laugh, but also tear your laptop in half and swallow its shattered remains just to feel something other than impotent rage?

White House ethics officials (what have they been up to lately?) discovered last year that Ivanka was blithely sending emails from a personal account, and when confronted, replied that “she was not familiar with some details of the rules.” Peter Mirijanian, a spokesman for Ivanka’s attorney and ethics counsel, released a breezy statement explaining that while Ivanka did sometimes use her personal account, it was only for…family issues. And why would that be any of our business?:

“While transitioning into government, after she was given an official account but until the White House provided her the same guidance they had given others who started before she did, Ms. Trump sometimes used her personal account, almost always for logistics and scheduling concerning her family,” he said in a statement.

Furthermore, Mirijanian says Ivanka’s use of private email is extremely different from Clinton’s, because,

“To address misinformation being peddled about Ms. Trump’s personal email, she did not create a private server in her house or office, there was never classified information transmitted, the account was never transferred or housed at Trump Organization, no emails were ever deleted, and the emails have been retained in the official account in conformity with records preservation laws and rules.”

To be clear, what Ivanka did is different, because Ivanka didn’t set up the server in the basement of Clinton’s Chappaqua home, and is also not named “Hillary Clinton.” Do you understand? I don’t. Recall that Ivanka’s presence in the White House is already on dubious ethical footing at best, and in any normal circumstance would have anti-nepotism advocates howling at the gates. But this isn’t normal! This is hell.