If things ever get so bad for me and whatever romantic partner I have at any given time that Ivanka Trump has to recommend couples therapists for us, please smother me with a pillow.
Former Donald Trump aide Kellyanne Conway is trying to cash in on her four-year grift with a new book, the title of which I will not share here because I’m not interested in funneling money to her. But we can still laugh about the tea she spilled in said book, including the fact that Trump’s favorite daughter stepped in to save Conway’s marriage with her liberal-leaning, husband, George.
According to the Washington Post, which obtained an early copy of Conway’s book, Ivanka helpfully passed Kellyanne a Post-it note listing the “names of two local doctors who specialized in couples’ therapy” as George Conway was spending most of his time tweeting deep shade at his wife’s boss.
“I noticed she had avoided putting that in a text or an email. I appreciated the information and her thoughtfulness and wanted to pursue it,” Conway wrote of Ivanka. “After I showed George the names, he rejected one and said a halfhearted ‘okay’ to the other while looking at his phone. We never went.”
The former conservative pollster charged that George had been “cheating by tweeting” about then-President Trump, when he should’ve been focused on her and their obviously stellar marriage.
“‘Whoop-de-do, George!’ I said to him. ‘You are one of millions of people who don’t like the president. Congrats.’ The usual silence,’” Kellyanne wrote of her marital conflicts.
“During this time, the frequency and ferocity of his tweets accelerated. Clearly, he was cheating by tweeting,” she added. “I was having a hard time competing with his new fling.”
Trump, while ostensibly running the country at the time, called George Conway the “husband from hell” and a “total loser,” which is a very normal thing for the leader of the free world to write on a public platform while maintaining access to our nuclear codes.
George simply responded: “You. Are. Nuts.”
Now, I understand that opposites attract and that a little friction in a relationship can be hot—and yet, the question of how Kellyanne and George remain married through all this is truly a riddle for the ages. I won’t even date someone who doesn’t like dogs or lives in a different borough. But I suspect the answer to their marital bliss lies in the fact that they are both getting quite rich off this drama—which is, again, why I’m not going to list the name of the book here or note its release day. Do not buy this book! Just take my word for it that I’ve now told you all the funny stuff you need to read.