It Would Be Dope If You Could Rub Fries On Your Head to Cure Baldness

Baldness may have a cure, and it can be found in the grease of McDonald’s french fries.

Newsweek reports that Japanese scientists have been experimenting with a silicone called dimethylpolysiloxane. That’s the same ingredient that goes in cooking grease at Micky D’s to keep it from frothing up in the heat. Yum, yum, yum!

In many studies on baldness, scientists focus on “hair follicle germs” or HFGs. In a new study, conducted by Professor Junji Fukuda, of Yokohama National University, dimethylpolysiloxane gave a solid base for HFGs to be mass-produced, sort of like sod for grass seed. So, if you try this at home, you’d probably have to build up a pretty thick later of french fry oil on your scalp to grow HFGs in (WARNING: DO NOT DO THIS).

“These self-sorted hair follicle germs (HFGs) were shown to be capable of efficient hair-follicle and shaft generation upon injection into the backs of nude mice,” Fukuda said.

Tee hee, nude mice. Not for long though; within days, the mice were becoming quite hirsute. Scientists say the results are “robust and promising,” just as a full head of hair grown in silicone on a mouse butt will be.

Is this sort of gross? Sure. Does this diminish my desire for McDonald’s? If this didn’t, then surely these hairy mice won’t either.