Isn't Ron Jeremy Tired???

If you’re out of the Ron Jeremy loop (and by that I mean the wide, wide net he’s woven out of his long, flexible penis), the venerable sex-hedgehog has been out of commission lately following an aneurysm and difficult heart surgery. But DON’T WORRY. Jeremy confirmed to TMZ yesterday that HE’S ALREADY HAVING TONS OF SEX AGAIN WITH HIS PENIS. And also his heart is okay probably. Or whatever.

Take it away, TMZ:

Ron Jeremy is finally out of the hospital …

and back on the prowl …

telling TMZ doctors have finally cleared him to start bangin’ chicks again after suffering an aneurysm near his heart last month.

It’s nothing short of a XXX miracle … since Ron was listed in critical condition and required multiple emergency surgeries to save his life.

But yesterday, the porn legend was back on his feet and cruisin’ around the Nokia Theater at L.A. Live with Bunny Ranch honcho Dennis Hof … and a female companion.

Jeremy not only told us he’s feeling great following the procedures … but he’s already healthy enough to do what he does best … telling us:

“They said to me at the clinic, that if you can walk up two flights of stairs you’re able to have sex… so I walked up two flights of stairs and 3 ADDITIONAL stairs.”

I mean, Ron, look, IT’S OKAY. We totally believe that you are a sex guy who has sex. We’re not going to forget. You seem like a super nice dude—you were really there for Tammy Faye when times got tough on Surreal Life!—don’t you want to just be a human being for five minutes? Without all the cheerless sexual grandstanding? Maybe watch some TV, focus on your 401k? We promise, we’ll always be here, and we won’t forget about you. (Is Dennis Hof bullying you??? Blink twice for yes.)

Of course, if this is all from the heart, I’m totally on board—boner it up! Bang away!—it’s just that you seem really tired. Embrace it.