Is This Ever Cohen to End?

Illustration for article titled Is This Ever Cohen to End?
Image: Getty

I learned many things today.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Relive former Trump attorney Michael Cohen’s testimony before Congress, if you must. [New York Times/Washington Post]
  • Don Jr. was tweeting up a storm during Cohen’s hearing. Here’s one thing he retweeted, for your pleasure. [Twitter]
  • In case you were curious, Representative Clay Higgins, one of the Republicans who grilled Cohen on his trustworthiness, is a disgraced former cop who resigned after using “unnecessary force” on a subject and then lied during an internal investigation. You can’t make this up, folks. [The Independent]
  • Florida Republican Congressperson and attorney Matt Gaetz, who threatened Cohen on Tuesday in a now-deleted tweet that read, “Hey @MichaelCohen 212, Do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful when you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot...,” is now under investigation by the Florida Bar. [Daily Beast]
  • Someone please explain!!! [Twitter]
  • The White House banned four U.S. reporters from covering Trump’s dinner meeting in Vietnam with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un because... they shouted questions at him, including some about Cohen. [Washington Post]
  • In non-Cohen news, the House passed a bill requiring universal background checks for gun buyers. [Vox]
  • The man who has been accused of vote rigging in North Carolina’s 9th Congressional district race has been charged with obstruction of justice and possessing absentee ballots. [NPR]
  • The State Department denied almost 40,000 visa applications in 2018 due to Trump’s Muslim ban. [Huffington Post]
  • Good news: Oregon is about to become the first state with state-wide rent control! [New York Times]
  • Some more good news: two black women are headed for a runoff in Chicago’s mayoral election. The winner will be the first black woman to lead the city. [New York Times]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.

Senior reporter, Jezebel


Muqaddimah (call me Muck)

Wait...someone described Michael Cohen as a man “with no reason to lie or obfuscate”, and Don Jr. retweeted it? How are these people so fucking bad at this?