The answer may surprise you/blow out your eardrums!

The inimitable walking fashion concept that is André Leon Talley appeared on today’s episode of The Wendy Williams Show. In addition to promoting his solid bio-doc, The Gospel According to André, the count of caftans had much to shriek about.

Talley talked Kanye (“He needs prayer, he needs help”) and his sometime pal Karl Lagerfeld, describing the designer as a “fly-by-night friend,” and explaining, “If you’re not on the front row, then you go.”

He called Vogue editor Anna Wintour “someone who cares about me deeply.” But! “Most days she treats me like her family,” he said, “and then some days she puts me out to pasture like the black sheep, puts me out to the furthest pasture to graze.” He revealed this more or less unprompted, like he’d shown up on set with a bladder full of gossip and axes to grind and then just started leaking.

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Also! He’s sexually fluid!

Talley said that though a love of his life has thus far eluded him, he’s had dalliances with parties who are “unexpected” and “high viscountesses in the high, European, refined world.” As you do. One only wore her pearls to bed.

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Upon hearing that information, Williams asked, “So you’re saying you’re heterosexual?”

“I’m saying not I’m heterosexual, I’m saying I’m fluid in my sexuality, darling!” trilled Talley.

He also discussed his plans for a caftan line for women and a fragrance line for men. As he does in the doc, he denied the rumor that he’s slept with famous designers. “I have not been in any designer’s bed except as a guest in a guest room!” he said. “And the doors are closed, okay? I have never slept with a designer male, female, four-legged, three-legged, or whatever!” He deemed the assumption, which he first caught wind of early in his career in Paris via his boss, as racist (“He wanted to make me feel small”). He also discussed when a publicist for Yves Saint Laurent’s Rive Gauche referred to him as “Queen Kong.” This anecdote plays movingly in the film; when Talley told it on Wendy, though, a portion of the audience laughed in response.