Innocent Beasts Rescued

Image via AP.
Image via AP.

Manatees, the gentle, overtly sexual giants of the sea, have also been imperiled by Hurricane Irma along Florida’s coast. We can’t attest to the safety of all manatees, but a couple have been returned to the ocean after being beached on shore in an inspirational, hands on rescue.


Mashable reports that Sarasota’s west coast bay has been left dry as the water drained away in the storm. Normally a safe place for manatees to float, several sea cows were left stranded before they knew what was happening.

The ‘tees reportedly “swam off” once they were back in the ocean and hopefully have a strong enough constitution to shake off such a harrowing experience.

The safety of humans in a natural disaster should always be the priority, of course, but some consideration for the other creatures great and small who have nothing to do with the climate change destroying their universe is welcome. Like these guys:

Batten down your birds! Put away your pups! Man your manatees!


Masshole James, Unstable Genius

You weren’t kidding about them being overtly sexual. Damn.

“[Manatee orgies] can last for hours, if not days,” director of science and conservation for the Save the Manatee Club Katie Tripp told The Huffington Post. It is the “most relaxed orgy you’ll ever see.”