In a Win for Feminism, the Trump Campaign Pays These Women a Lot of Money to Do Nothing

Illustration for article titled In a Win for Feminism, the Trump Campaign Pays These Women a Lot of Money to Do Nothing
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The purpose and end goal of feminism is an oft-debated topic. What does it mean? What’s the deal with the waves? What wave are we even in? Is the website you’re currently reading even a feminist website? I don’t have an answer to most of those questions, and all I can give you is my honest opinion which is that I do think, at some point, men should just give women money for no reason other than that women have had to deal with men for so long. Is that feminism? Probably not. But to me, it’s a start!


In an unlikely twist of events, it appears the Trump campaign are in favor of my inclination toward findoming as feminist praxis because they are apparently paying two women $15,000 a month to do pretty much nothing. Of course, I wish almost any other two women alive were the beneficiaries of this financial windfall but, unfortunately, it’s Kimberly Guilfoyle and Lara Trump, which really puts a damper on the whole thing.

According to two GOP sources acting as White House advisers, Bradley Parscale, Trump’s campaign manager, is paying both women privately though his company so as to avoid having to report out payments directly per FEC reporting requirements. To date, the Trump campaign, RNC, and several super PACs have paid nearly $40 million to Parscale’s firms, who are not required to report out on the payments they are making.

Of course, because there is nothing on record it’s impossible to know if the report is true, but on Friday Parscale told HuffPost, “I can pay them however I want to pay them,” which certainly makes it sound like he’s definitely paying them.

It’s no secret that, since he became the presumptive Republican nominee in 2016, Trump has been profiting directly from donor money. Trump quadrupled the rent charged to his own campaign to stay at Trump Tower in 2016, and although the campaign is now based out of a building in Arlington, Virginia, it continues to pay a smaller portion of that rent. Personally, I feel like if you’re willing to give money to the Trump campaign then you kind of deserve to have your money misused because literally what else did you expect? But still, I can’t believe some of those mismanaged funds totals $180,000 a year for both Lara Trump and Guilfoyle.

One of the anonymous White House advisers described Guilfoyle’s work as, “She’s doing stuff,” so maybe this isn’t an entirely findom situation after all, maybe this is just normal payment for very hard work! I doubt it, but this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been let down by the Trumps today, and it certainly won’t be the last.

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Okay, now I know that people are going to jump on the liberal band-wagon here and claim that just because the Trump campaign is allegedly paying two of his sons spouses a ludicrous amount of money is somehow nepotism. And to those I say do you have no shame. Can you not see how much these women accomplish by their simple existence.

I mean, Don Jr was miserable after his divorce, bereft on the sea of life, after his former wife so cruelly cast him out of their family home for some minor, insignificant reasons. Guilfoyle brought joy to his life, gave him that spark to once again support his father during these especially trying times where media refuses to give the President credit for all the massive ratings he is drawing and the excellent job he is doing in both supporting state governors in their struggle and calling for the people in those states to revolt against their governors. How can you put a price on such an achievement?

And Laura Trump, the beating heart within Eric Trump’s chest. If Laura was not there to unconditionally love her husband, how could Eric even fathom being capable of leading the Trump organization to new financial heights while his father has completely disconnected from his businesses in order to be the leader his country deserves. Because of Laura, Donald Trump can sleep easy each night knowing that the corporation he build through hard honest work continues to thrive. What salary would you give such a job?