In a 7:44 AM Tweet, Trump Nominated Christopher Wray for FBI Director

As always, a heartfelt congratulations to Jack Dorsey.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Without informing members of Congress ahead of time, Trump announced on Twitter that he would be nominating former federal prosecutor Christopher Wray to be his new FBI director. Several hours later, the White House confirmed this, indicating that they, too, were not prepared for this announcement to take place. Wray, who was recently Trump fanboy Chris Christie’s attorney during the Bridgegate scandal, is generally considered to have the appropriate kind of experience for the job, but drew a rebuke from the ACLU for his “firm’s legal work for the Trump family, his history of partisan activity, as well as his history of defending Trump’s transition director during a criminal scandal”. So... cool. [Washington Post]
• Speaking of Chris Christie, he responded to Comey’s newly-released opening statement by claiming that Trump’s comments to Comey simply constituted “normal New York City conversation,” by which Christie likely meant “[the types of] normal New York City conversation[s that I personally am accustomed to having in New York City].”
• Trump, meanwhile, is expected to tweet his tiny, brittle little heart out tomorrow during the Comey hearing. [Washington Post]
• In a strange, totally unexpected turn of events, Kansas governor Sam Brownback’s six-year quest to deplete his state of tax income has not worked out particularly well, money-wise—to the extent that the state’s Republican-led legislature overrode his veto of a bill that would undo some of his tax cuts. Are Republicans in Washington taking notes? You know what, probably not! [New York Times]
• The latest polling in from Britain’s snap election tomorrow indicates that Theresa May and the Tories will get the landslide they were aiming for. But here’s Boris Johnson getting brutally owned by a fortune teller! [The Independent]
• Hawaii became the first state to pass laws enforcing the Paris Climate agreement. [BuzzFeed]
• And we have hit another low in Donald Trump’s approval rating: 34%, according to the latest Quinnipiac poll. [Politico]
• Happy Birthday to Vice President Mike Pence, a man who certainly knows how to have a good time. “Party on,” as the kids say! [Twitter]

Here are some tweets the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.