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I'm So Pissed Off at Ian Somerhalder for Repeatedly Breaking His Vow to Have a 'Month of Silence'

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Sometime during Nikki Reed’s third trimester, she and husband Ian Somerhalder shared their vow to take a “month of silence” after the birth of their child. In an interview with Fit Pregnancy and Baby, a magazine about three things that in no way apply to me, Reed said:

“We’ll take the baby’s first month for ourselves. After the baby arrives, we’re doing one month of silence. Just the three of us, no visitors, and we’re turning off our phones too, so there’s no expectation for us to communicate.”


A month with no distractions—just a newborn baby girl to keep you occupied, entertained, and mystified by the miracle of life. Sounds nice, right? Well, apparently that’s not good enough for Mr. Somerhalder, who has broken that vow vow not once, not twice, but six fucking times on his Instagram account—an app that require’s one’s phone to communicate.

What’s worse, he’s not even sharing anything good! Since their daughter, Bodhi Soleil Reed Somerhalder, was born, Mr. Somerhalder has posted:

  1. A boring #tbt of him, Reed, and their dog lying on the floor.
  2. A boring #tbt selfie of him editing...some show no one’s ever watched? A movie? Who knows. Worthless.
  3. A selfie of him holding up a book written by his vet called The Ultimate Pet Health Guide. Somerholder says the book “combines two of [his] passions: holistic health and the love of animals.”
  4. A photo of his cat in which he promotes CatCon, an event I refuse to look up.
  5. A selfie of his cat nuzzled up against his flexed bicep, also promoting CatCon.
  6. This:

Yes! The cover of Fit Pregnancy and Baby! That, my friends, is the very magazine that contains his vow to not do precisely what he did by posting the cover of said magazine.

Is anyone else as furious as I am? No?


Here’s a story that calmed me down. Page Six reports Angelina Jolie took her kids, Shiloh and Vivienne, to Target on Saturday with the intention of getting them hot dogs from the store’s cafe. But their perfect afternoon was interrupted when they discovered that, gasp, that Target location didn’t serve hot dogs.

A source tells Page Six, “The kids were disappointed, so they all left.”

That story has broken my heart, and made me feel strangely calm.

[Page Six]

Kevin Hart is SO unbothered by his wife’s cheating allegations against him that he filmed himself laughing it off and uploaded the clips to his Instagram story.


Per People, Hard said the following across several videos:

“Going to be honest with you people, I’m at a point where I can’t even be shocked anymore. All I do is laugh man...Even after writing a book, a very good book, about my life in great detail…still not enough?...Even after talking about my life in my stand up specials, a lot of stand up specials, you actually see me grow as a man through my stand up specials, still not enough?...This will act as nothing but material for your boy.


Whatever you say, Kev!


  • All Katy Perry will say about a Ploom reunion is that “it’s nice to keep people you love around you.” [Us Weekly]
  • Jerry Lewis died of “as a result of ischemic cardiomyopathy.” [Us Weekly]
  • I have never seen the name “Keleigh” before, but Miles Teller will be seeing it for the rest of his life. [R29]
  • Beyoncé wore a cool new outfit. [PopSugar]
  • Ben Affleck wore like six cool outfits at the same time? [Lainey Gossip]

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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As our beloved Paula Abdul once sang: “opposites attract.” I love you with all my heart, Mr. Finger, but I had opposite reactions to the first two news items. I was enraged on behalf of Vivienne and Shiloh to discover that the Target didn’t have hot dogs. How well I remember the days when I would go to K-Mart only to find that the Coca-Cola Icee machine was not working. Oh the betrayal.

As for Ian breaking his vow? I give them five years TOPS before they divorce. We can trust that someone who posts that kind of gushy instagram tripe will break up with their partner. It’s a tale as old as time, and it calms me to know that the more things change, the more they stay the same.