I'm Praying the New Chipotle Quesadilla Won't Be a Complete Disaster

There are two types of people in this world: those that love Chipotle and those that hate it.

Personally, I find myself in the former category, though I do recognize the chain’s faults. Do I love it when I bite into a burrito and watch it unravel in .386 seconds and thus find myself technically with a burrito bowl sans an actual bowl? Not really, but I’ll eat all that up like a possum foraging in a trash can at midnight because it’s delicious and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Those that DO enjoy the cornucopia that is Chipotle’s trash Mexican food selection may also be delighted to learn that the chain is adding five items to it’s menu: quesadillas, nachos, chocolate milkshakes (no, I don’t know why it’s only chocolate), avocado tostadas and an updated salad, the New York Times reports.

You might remember that Chipotle’s latest experiment, a disgusting looking queso, was a complete disaster. You might also remember that Chipotle has been struggling in recent years after an outbreak of E. coli (yum!) So the chain is understandably experimenting like a 14-year-old who’s just discovered Hot Topic and decided she’s done with her old friend group.

And all I can really say to Chipotle is, in the words of RuPaul: don’t fuck it up. This bit from the NYT certainly doesn’t make me feel better either:

In an interview on Wednesday, Chipotle’s chief executive, Brian Niccol, acknowledged that a snack easily mastered by the average hungry tween becomes trickier on a nationwide scale. “We’re not built right now to make a great quesadilla,” he said. “The worst-case scenario is the person in front of you orders a quesadilla.”

Let’s all pray this quesadilla works out. Or at least doesn’t embarrass me, noted Chipotle fan.