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I'm Inspired By This Lady Who Lives With a Thousand-Pound Indoor House Bison

“She listens, she does mind, [but] she is a buffalo, you can’t really push her around too much,” Karen Schoeve, doting mother to one 1,000-pound housebroken bison, tells the Dallas Morning News in my new all-time favorite video.

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According to the delightful accompanying profile, Bullet the Bison has full reign of Schoeve’s three-acre property, including the house. This, as one can imagine, came with challenges—which Schoeve approached as if they were unavoidable, and not the result of a possibly misguided and definitely elective decision to allow a giant buffalo to track mud inside of her home.

“Scary? No, she’s not scary,” Schoeve told the Morning News. “She’s got a great personality.”

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True love. (via screenshot)
True love. (via screenshot)

“She’s good, hardy stock,” Schoeve said of Bullet, who has never needed to make a trip to the vet. “They live on the open range. They’re hardy animals, unlike those sissy longhorns.”

Shoeve, who works full-time as a court reporter and recently went through a divorce, is reluctantly selling Bullet (who, according to the Morning News, was domesticated before she came to live with Schoeve) in order to give her more space to roam. “I’m working and feeding animals and working and feeding animals. It’s just been hard for me to keep up,”she told the Morning News. “The best thing for me is to get everybody a good home, especially Bullet, because she deserves the best.”

Well, nothing gold can stay, as they say—unless we are talking about buffalo urine, which I imagine is difficult to get out of one’s carpet.

Ellie is a freelance writer and former senior writer at Jezebel. She is pursuing a master's degree in science journalism at Columbia University in the fall.

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DISCUSSION

thetallblonde

They’re hardy animals, unlike those sissy longhorns.