IKEA Smells Like Meatballs and Broken Relationships

Let me explain. People announces that, in 2019, IKEA will release a fragrance collaboration with Swedish perfumer Byredo to create smells “communicated beyond scented candles” which evoke home. For example, grandmother’s cooking. Or IKEA.

From the official statement:

The collaboration aims at looking into both the role of scent in the home, the carriers and the products as well as exploring innovation in scent, how we can integrate scents in completely new ways. We are also curious to explore the scent of IKEA, if there is one, what does IKEA smell like?

One such environment is the purgatory between the check-out area and delivery pickup, the make-or-break zone for couples reexamining their decision to move in together. Announces the IKEA blog:

Today we got a sneak peak of what this aromatic collab might turn into: a whiff of the more than well-known Swedish cinnamon buns permeates the hallways of IKEA of Sweden.

Your hallways of death. But hey, not to discount IKEA’s good deeds, like donating furniture to Hurricane Sandy victims, designing refugee shelters and donating tens of millions to the United Nations Refugee Agency. I’m just bitter because IKEA Brooklyn is a godforsaken abyss without home assembly services, and these boxes aren’t assembling themselves.