Iggy Azalea, Deciphered

A couple of weeks ago, I saw a short Vine clip of Iggy Azalea rapping in her very own special language, lost footage apparently from a 2013 concert called Live Splash. A full version of that video floated across our timelines today and honestly, I’m not sure why people are having such a hard time deciphering it.

This video performance of Iggy’s song “D.R.U.G.S” has been around since 2014, but this is my first time seeing it. It’s been eating me up inside because her diction is pristine, clear as day, and her speed-rapping skills could easily rival that of Twista or even Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. It’s that good. Frankly, the reaction toward this is outrageous.

Is this what an Iggy concert experience is like? I’m sorely missing out. Funny or Die did a piss-poor translation that’s supposed to be quote-unquote “funny” because it’s completely incorrect. Ha. Ha. That’s the sound of no one laughing.

Anyway, here is a real transcription of the lyrics to settle this once and for all since everyone is so “confused.” God. Let the woman live.

Splash. Ya feel good? [Crowd yells]

Ah feel fuckin’ hut. [Laughs]

Tire monks… Tire monks…

Finish line with fire monks [Ed Note: Fire monks are monks who are also firefighters]

On the real A stop [Ed Note: This is a train that operates in New York], turn the runaway train

Master. Sheetin’ on the pants. Got it spinning like a pastor. Raptor. Basher. Deer like Doe, like Dasher. Faster, Motor Mike faster. He ain’t gotta get a bitch watch o’r the rapture. White bitch go but I roll like a Wu. Penthouse shit rooftop at the Wynn.

When I win when I when I win no when I win, I play good like Shinga [Ed Note: This one stumped me]

Hos on call. Got hos on call! To come through take a protocol. Just damage it that’s my protocol

This many, uh, Australians on sauce and no camera. I don’t care who you are. No, Killer Mack [Ed Note: I think she means Killer Mike], gotta give it to you raw. Piss on point. Gotta pass me a joint. Gotta tweeze this beat. I’ma spray my joint

Straight crack rock! Raw to the pat-pahnt poon!

Nod to the Rap City, no Tigga yeah shawty do whatever I know naw digga. It’s the motherfuckin’ not. It’s Iggy, not Jigga!

Which is funny because I totally confused her with Jay Z the first time I heard “Fancy.”

That wasn’t the only footage from this concert that’s full of Iggy jargon, which, again, is like music to my ears. Here’s her performance of “PUSSY,” a feat of vocal dexterity and twerking.