If You Want to Get Botox, Michelle Obama Has Your Back

Illustration for article titled If You Want to Get Botox, Michelle Obama Has Your Back

In accordance with her 50th birthday on Friday, Michelle Obama spoke with People magazine about her workout routine, eating right and those pesky things that crop up on your face as you age that we call wrinkles but cosmetic companies call lines.


According to the Associated Press and a limited excerpt available on People.com, the interview emphasizes the First Lady's stance on living healthily (People apparently asks her if she has "peaked at 50," good lord) but also addresses a much more pressing issue:

"Women should have the freedom to do whatever they need to do to feel good about themselves," the first lady told People magazine in an interview hitting newsstands Friday, her birthday. "Right now, I don't imagine that I would go that route, but I've also learned to never say never."


As if she could say anything else without being media-trampled to death? (Like the fact that Botox is a very small dose of a very deadly poison; it's deemed safe by doctors but man, that's a little scary. Or something about how women are beautiful just the way they are and isn't it shitty how we live in a world where they're told that they should make their foreheads immobile in an attempt to look younger. Or maybe, "Why on earth are you asking me about Botox?")

In other news, Michelle's birthday party is Saturday night at the White House, and yes, I can call her Michelle because I have been invited to said party.* No word on whether or not Beyoncé will be there but guests have been instructed to eat before they arrive and my close personal friend Valerie Jarrett told me that "people will move."**

* I mean the invite is probably lost in this joke of a mail system we call the U.S. Postal System but it'll get here.
** Jarrett actually told the AP this but I do like to move so we're on the same page.

Image via Kent Nishimura/Getty

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The words that came out of Michelle's mouth were, "never say never." But the words that were going through her head were, "bitch, please. I'm not even going to start looking old until I'm 90. Have you learned nothing from Angela Bassett? Black people age in reverse."