One of my first crushes ever was Prince Eric. Then Harry Styles became my boyfriend. Now, they have the opportunity to become one and the same. I am not alone when I say: Do you know how many basic bitches in their 20s will shell out $20 to see this movie opening weekend? All of us. Every single one. Come on, Disney, do the right thing. “Kiss the Girl” is essentially One Direction’s “Kiss You,” anyway.

And before you ask: I’ve already decided Halle and Harry’s ship name is Halle.