If Kim Kardashian Wins An Oscar, We Quit Life

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Kim Kardashian will eventually fade into obscurity? Yes. Kim Kardashian as an anal bleach spokesperson? It seems inevitable. But Kim Kardashian as a future Oscar winner? Well, that's now also a possibility according to big-name acting coach Susan Batson who recently took her on as a client. Known outside the industry as the woman who Nicole Kidman thanked in her Academy Award speech for The Hours, she also helped others like Jennifer Connelly, Juliette Binoche and Jamie Foxx realize their golden statuette dreams. Clearly enjoying a challenge, she's now planning to transform Kim from reviled reality star to a serious actress. And before you go thinking Susan will work with whoever will help her make a quick buck, she addressed this in an old New York magazine interview. "If you know who I said, 'Don't bother sending' to agents ..." she said, trailing off. "You have to have talent. Otherwise I really can't work with you." We hope you've had some rest, Susan, you have a mountain of a job ahead of you. [Page Six]
And it's just as well, with some gossip journalist/economics major releasing a book that says Kim's earning potential as a bottom-feeder might be coming to an end. [NYDN]
Phew, we can all exhale, Kim has returned to blogging after two whole weeks. [Radar]


Giving celeb journalists a reason to get up in the morning Kristen Stewart speaks about her love for babies and confirms Robert Pattinson is a natural with them while discussing the wee actresses that were cast as their Twilight: Breaking Hymen daughter, Renesmee. A Renaissance faire-issue name if ever there was one. "Rob's really good with them, too. Every time they started crying it was just like, I would literally go ‘Oh God, where's its mom?' I would be worried about the baby," she said. "He would literally go into the corner and just shake it to sleep. It was weird to see that." Well, we don't know if shaking babies is actually that good a thing, but we'll let the on-set baby wranglers deal with that one. [Hollywood Life]
Not to be outdone, Robert says Kristen makes an "amazing" bride. [People]

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Charlize Theron reveals that she's happy to be single for the first time in 17 years. Taking a hiatus from acting in an attempt to fix her flailing near 10-year relationship with Stewart Townsend, she says that even though things didn't quite work out as she'd hoped on that front, it's been cool to stand on her own two feet for the first time in her adult life. "I've never been single," she says. "This is the first time in my life. From the time I was 19, I've been in relationships, literally gone from one to the other within a month. It's been good for me." [NYDN]
She also talks about working with Kristen Stewart in Snow White And The Huntsman saying she "just doesn't give a fuck" and she's "looking forward to killing her and taking her beauty. That's what happens, right?" [Radar]

The endlessly entertaining Courtney Love packed a sad at a show in Brazil and left the stage after someone held up a picture of Kurt Cobain. "I'm not Kurt. I have to live with his fucking shit, and his ghost, and his kid, every day," she said before she left. While she has a point, we doubt Frances Bean would love to be referred to as something to be endured. [Billboard]


Image for article titled If Kim Kardashian Wins An Oscar, We Quit Life

While many of us would pull all sorts of ridiculous shit just to see what we could get away with, Jessica Simpson still deserves savage eye-roll after pulling her own little private Devil Wears Prada moment and making sure she was the only one riding the elevator when she went to get her hair did. And she does it all the time because of "privacy reasons," apparently. What could she possibly be doing in the space of a couple of floors? [NYDN]

  • Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony reunited publicly for the first time since they split — heading to Puerto Rico to film their upcoming Latin talent competition show, ¡Q'Viva! The Chosen.[TMZ]
  • J-Woww says a TSA employee went from concerned to creepy, singling her out for pat-down after earlier pointing her out while she was getting coffee. [NYDN]
  • Snooki is also in the news today, showing off her new streamlined looked on the Twitters. [NYDN]
  • She's gone from film to court TV, but everyone's favorite car crash/comeback queen Lindsay Lohan is slowly clawing her way back to the good side of media saturation now she's been immortalised in comic book form. [Refinery 29]
  • Some genius 'mo had the idea to cast Pamela Anderson as the Virgin Mary in a Canadian comedy special. [Page Six]
  • Halloween may be over for another year, but Lady Gaga still keeps on keeping on with a pretty awesome headless stage costume for UK's The X Factor. [Page Six]
  • Damages is one of the best shows in forever, and Glenn Close says Ryan Phillippe's upcoming role as a Julian Assange type is "out of the ballpark." Can't wait! [E!]
  • The woman who accused Matthew Fox of punching her in the vagina has filed paperwork asking that his countersuit be dismissed. [E!]
  • The often marvelous Kathy Griffin pulls some vintage Janet Jackson. [Huff Po]
  • In a downright adorable protest, Dan Savage gets glitter-bombed amid accusations he is transphobic. [OMG]
  • Eva Longoria says her fat-shaming friend Victoria Beckham does things the subtle way by making her dresses "size negative four." [US]
  • Talk about tugging at the heartstrings: NBC pulls Community to make way for more 30 Rock. [Vulture]
  • The Real Housewives Kim Richards just can't cut a break, with news her new boyfriend is still trawling for ladies on Match.com. [Daily Mail]
  • The lovely Christina Applegate says she wouldn't take on a job if she couldn't bring her nine-month-old daughter to work. [People]
  • News that Paris Hilton ordered a stray dog an $80 steak in Bali is jarring. Firstly, it's weird to think about her at all. Secondly, is there a chance that she could become likeable again, despite the blatant PR-ness of it all? [The Sun]



1. Please explain to me why gorgeous Charlize's Evil Queen is coveting bland Kristen Stewart's Snow White beauty? As much as I enjoyed seeing Charlize being evil in the trailer, this plot doesn't ring true to me at all.

2. Live with his kid every day? I thought Frances made it a point to distance herself from Courtney's nuttier than squirrel shit ass.