If I Have to Read About This Freaking 'Memo' One More Time I'm Going To Lose My Freaking Mind

Image via Getty.
Image via Getty.

Every single picture of Devin Nunes looks like that?

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • I get that it’s objectively important news that elected members of Congress, in apparent conjunction with the White House, are using a misleading and still-mysterious 3-page memo to wage war on the FBI and ultimately Robert Mueller in an attempt to shield the president from accountability—and, most recently, that the FBI is pushing back, meaning our chief law enforcement agency and our Executive Branch are once again at odds in a very not-democratic sort of way. I do get that. It’s just that if I have to read about this freaking scandal one more time I’m going to actually scream. [New York Times]
  • Brenda Fitzgerald, the director of the CDC, has stepped down amid reports that she invested in the fucking tobacco industry and other pretty clearly conflicting companies belonging to the HEALTH CARE INDUSTRY. [New York Times]
  • A train carrying members of Congress to a GOP retreat hit a garbage truck today, killing the truck’s driver. [Politico]
  • I had kind of forgotten about Ben Carson? [Washington Post]
  • Despite Trump’s interest in “clean, beautiful coal,” the White House is looking to cut clean energy research by a staggering 72 percent. [Washington Post]
  • When things are too partisan for Trey Gowdy... I don’t even know! [Politico]

Here are some tweets the President was allowed to publish:

None. What is going on here?



What the hell is ‘beautiful coal’?

I’d love to see Trump’s reaction if someone dumped a couple of tonnes of that ‘beautiful’ rock in the foyer of one of his crappy hotels.

I’m also pretty sure that none of black lung, asthma, heavy metal poisoning, or silicosis are especially beautiful. Nor are rivers after they’re filled with mine waste, flattened mountains, strip mines or fly ash ponds.

So once again, asking for a friend - what the fuck is he talking about?