I Will Consent to Getting Married at Disney World If Lil Nas X Promises to Show Up

Having grown up in Florida and currently living in California there is honestly not too much I know considering my brain was melted in the Sunshine State and now I exist primarily as a semi-tactile mist traversing the earthly plane in search of green juices and affordable housing (the first is always sold out and the second doesn’t exist). However, even considering my questionable upbringing and current status as a coastal elite, I do know one thing to be definitively true: Disney World is better than Disney Land and that is not an opinion it is just science.

Not that I in any way feel compelled to have to prove my case, as again, it is just unequivocally true based on science, but only one of those two places was the site of a wedding reception that was crashed by Lil Nas X this weekend. That place? You guessed it. Disney World, located in Orlando, Florida, and not Disney Land, which is located somewhere else.

Lil Nas X tweeted a video of the moment he crashed the wedding reception, in which he is shown walking the bride on to the dance floor to the general shock and awe of those in attendance. After he and the bride prance by, the video pans to someone whose name we do not know but who is probably named Karen or Amanda or Lindsey, who says, simply, “What the fuck is happening right now?” as ‘Old Town Road’ plays in the background. Same, Lindsey, same.

Bravely, Lil Nas X is wearing white as a wedding crasher, a move that the bride doesn’t particularly seem to care about. Admittedly, it’s a bold choice but one that is ultimately inconsequential considering there’s no way a celebrity crashing a wedding wouldn’t pull focus, regardless of what they are wearing.

Once, in grad school, I went back to Disney World with some friends for old times sake. When we sat down at the end of our day to soak up some of the several thousand milligrams of sodium we’d ingested via turkey legs that day with pasta at Tony’s Town Square Restaurant (that’s how that works, right?), we were attacked halfway though our meal by a wedding proposal a few tables down. All single, sunburnt, and bloated, we left shortly after to get drunk somewhere away from the park.

Since then, I’ve taken a pretty hardline against anything remotely marriage related happening in conjunction with things that are Disney or Disney adjacent. Lil Nas X, via this absolutely random and supremely wonderful wedding crashing moment, has freed me from that bias. I will now gladly consent to a proposal or wedding taking place on Disney property, so long as Lil Nas X in somehow involved.