I Watched the Only Rom Com I Refused to Watch
I’ll watch any romantic comedy. The ones that make it into theaters (Baggage Claim). The ones that air on television (Beauty and the Briefcase). The ones that never really make it to either medium, languishing on DVD or VHS or whatever format we’re touting to document things permanently but without notice these days. But for years, the only rom com I wouldn’t touch was Must Love Dogs, a 2005 film starring Diane Lane and John Cusack.
Based off the 2002 Claire Cook novel of the same name, Must Love Dogs has all the things I usually require in a romantic comedy: a cast of people trying to be funny while some people pretend to fall in love. In fact, it has more to offer than that basic requirement. The cast features strong actors; Lane and Cusack (the latter is a personal favorite of mine) are joined by Elizabeth Perkins, Christopher Plummer, Stockard Channing and DERMOT MULRONEY. It’s also a movie that features slightly older people struggling with second marriages, which isn’t an unheard of plot line in Hollywood, but certainly isn’t always the norm – or at least it wasn’t until Nancy Meyers released Something’s Gotta Give and It’s Complicated in 2003 and 2009, respectively.
No, the thing that was holding me back from Must Love Dogs was the last word in its title: the dog(s). I am, as you may have previously learned, not a pet person. The idea of two lovebirds connecting over their shared infatuation with dogs was actually enough to keep me away from this particular film. (For some reason, this rule didn’t apply to The Truth About Cats and Dogs, though I do recall being hesitant to watch that as well.)
But it was 88 degrees outside on this post-Labor Day September night and I don’t have air conditioning, so what better way to spend that sleepless evening than watching something I had never had any desire to watch before, I thought to myself. Little did I know the experience would be a slow dive into insanity.
With its opening credits, Must Love Dogs started off promisingly. Oh Christopher Plummer! Oh Stockard Channing! I thought to myself, as my fan whirred and I settled in to my low-thread count knock-off eucalyptus sheets, the glow of the computer providing a heat I didn’t need. Shortly after, a sad woman (Diane Lane) named Sarah greets me. She is in her kitchen, surrounded by her family, who are very sad for her, though not about their own lives, which are mostly great. I’m familiar with sad Diane Lane; I just re-watched Under the Tuscan Sun a few weeks ago on a slow Sunday afternoon.
Next, we meet a sad John Cusack (Jake). He’s sad not because he has a family to be sad for him but because he is alone (save for his nebbish friend who seems like a sad loser who thinks he is a player) and because he makes wooden boats no one will ever use.
DOG COUNT: 1. Occurs at six minutes into the film. This dog is named MOTHER THERESA.
[♪ ♫ Irish music plays ♪ ♫]
Sad Sarah sadly grocery shops while that insipid cover of “First Cut Is The Deepest” by Sheryl Crowe plays. Transition to: Sad Sarah eating chicken alone in her kitchen.
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