I Want Diane Keaton's Black Flame Boots

By Justice Namaste  |  May 7, 2020 | 11:46pm
CelebritiesDirt Bag
I Want Diane Keaton's Black Flame Boots
Photo:Christopher Polk/Getty Images

Diane Keaton truly knows how to pick a hat. In a video she posted today on her Instagram, the actress is wearing a black baseball cap that says ‘kook.’ in all capital letters on the front, paired with an all-black ensemble that gives me big “The Matrix, but make it fashion” energy (complete with leather gloves). The video, which some would call a cinematic masterpiece, is basically a video of Keaton cleaning out her closet and choosing items to donate to Goodwill. And it appears to have a title: “Diane By Design: Diane Goes To Goodwill.”

We are all just… so damn bored.

Some highlights from Keaton’s closet include: a pair of clunky black boots with flames on the side, a couple of layered peplum blazers, and a pair of delightful black and white clown shoes (that she ultimately decided not to donate). Please see the clown shoes below, and join me in wondering where on earth Keaton plans to actually wear these.

Screenshot:Instagram / Diane Keaton

But the best part is still to come.

The last minute of this video is where the true artistry shines through. After watching Keaton fill one bag with clothes (literally, there is a solid 25 seconds of her struggling to fit the shoes and jackets she decided to donate into a trash bag), the video cuts to Keaton, now outside, struggling to cross the street to go to while lugging four trash bags full of clothing. Maybe I’m just mean, but it’s funny watching her struggle with the bags, primarily because the very fact that someone is there recording this outing makes it clear that Keaton could have gotten help with her bags, and yet chose to nobly struggle.

This dramatic short film comes to its conclusion when Keaton gets to the door of the Goodwill and realizes… it’s closed. “Aw man…. okay,” she says, in suspiciously clear audio that makes me wonder if she has a microphone on under her face mask. “This is insane!” she exclaims. Okay Diane, I don’t think the Goodwill being closed is what’s ‘insane’ about life right now.

I’m not too proud to admit I tried to figure out the location of the Goodwill where Keaton was planning to drop those bags off. A peplum blazer could be a look! [Page Six]

Just like everyone else on twitter dot com, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is playing Animal Crossing.

As possibly the only person on the planet who doesn’t own a Nintendo Switch, I don’t really understand what this tweet is saying, but it seems cute. Maybe if you’re lucky AOC will take a trip to your island and leave a doodle on your bulletin board! (Am I doing it right?)