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I Wanna Dance With Somebody, But Not Whitney Houston's Hologram

Illustration for article titled I Wanna Dance With Somebody, But Not Whitney Houstons Hologram

Are you there, tech gods? It’s me, Bobby. Why are there so many holograms of dead celebrities? Does making holograms of dead celebrities and selling tickets to performances by those holograms of dead celebrities make you feel good? Does it make any audiences feel good?


I ask because it was reported today that Whitney Houston, who died tragically in 2012, may soon be given a “world tour.” Live Nation received a press release from Alki David, owner of Hologram USA, that states:

“I was heartbroken when Whitney passed away in 2012. The opportunity to help share her spectacular gifts with the world again is exactly what I hoped for when I built the hologram business.”


A statement from the president of the Whitney Houston Foundation, Pete Houston, was also included. And you know what, tech gods? His remarks make me even sadder.

“It’s a great opportunity for her fans to see a reinvention of one the most celebrated female artists in history and to continue a legacy of performances that will not be forgotten in years to come.”

This follows news that Billie Holiday will be “performing” at the Apollo Theater later this year, also via hologram.

The act of “reinventing” the dead should strike fear in the hearts of living humans. It should not make us want to pull out our credit cards and buy tickets, hoping and praying that Whitney Houston’s hologram surprises her fans by welcoming all her best hologram friends to the stage.


Can you put a stop to this, tech gods?

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Image via Getty.

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Celebrities need to starting writing a clause into their wills that specifically prohibits the use of their likeness in hologram form. That’s the only way to prevent this creepy shit from happening.