Every year, The Hollywood Reporter does humanity a great service by interviewing actual Oscar voters—anonymously, as some are almost certainly names we’d recognize—about what they really thought about the Oscar nominees, and who they held their noses to vote for. And they’re back! With a vengeance.
In their first installment, THR speaks to someone they intriguingly describe as “a longtime female member of the 1,158-member actors branch who—this season, anyway—is not associated with any of the nominees.” And you know what? This particular actress thinks Meryl was nominated because the Oscars are in essence a popularity contest. Shocking:
I thought Meryl [Streep in Florence Foster Jenkins] played it like a clown — she’s cute and adorable, but this woman didn’t matter to me in the end — but people are gaga over Meryl, and I think she solidified her nomination when she gave that speech at the Golden Globes. I don’t think she would have gotten nominated without it.
In the Best Actress category, she basically thought most of the movies sucked so she voted for Ruth Negga in Loving, “who was fairly one-note, but engaging enough.” ICE COLD!
In the most debated and arguably most important category, Best Picture, Anon was similarly unimpressed. She voted for Hell Or High Water (a movie I found so trite and predictable I had to turn it off halfway through), because “it will be remembered as a true American classic” (sure, if you love really obvious morality plays that bash you over the head with tackling! important! topics!). Of the other Best Picture nominees, Anon was not even feeling them a bit. Likely winner La La Land was “not all that deep or memorable,” Hidden Figures was “like a glorified Movie of the Week,” Fences was to her just the play but filmed, and Arrival? “It just sucked.”
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Finally, as if to prove that the Oscars really don’t mean shit, please enjoy Anon explaining her vote for Best Make-Up and Hairstyling:
The Star Trek [Beyond] DVD they sent me stopped halfway through — something was wrong with it — so I called them and asked them to send me another, but they never did, so that eliminated them! The funny thing is I probably would have voted for them.
Enjoy the rest of this person’s acerbic and, as advertised, “brutally honest” commentary over here. Thank you Hollywood Reporter for executing this important task.