Photo via AP Images.

This small purse, covered in more diamonds than a really nasty pier has barnacles and currently the Guinness World Record holder for most valuable handbag, is up for sale. To whom should I provide my mailing address?

The Guardian alerts me to the existence of the bauble that really should find its way to my closet, thanks. It’s 18-karat gold, not that you can see it for the 4,500-plus diamonds: “The rocks are mostly colourless but 105 yellow and 56 pink diamonds have also been incorporated into the design.” Also:

The intricate diamond work took artisans more than 8,800 hours to create, according to Christie’s, which is handling the private sale.

To drum up interest in what it described as a “bejewelled masterpiece”, the auction house is showing the piece to potential buyers in Hong Kong before embarking on a tour that will visit Geneva and London next month.

So it’s conveniently working its way to me, a person who should treat herself. Great! Does Christie’s take Venmo?