I Cannot Stop Thinking About Lala's Empowerment Prayer

By Ellie Shechet | January 18, 2018 | 10:20pm

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On an episode of Vanderpump Rules that aired a full one-and-a-half weeks ago, cast member Ariana Madix shared that she had been in an emotionally abusive relationship that resulted in severe body image issues, which were affecting her current relationship. In response, costar Lala Kent delivered a short speech that I have thought about nonstop ever since and would like—nay, desperately need—to discuss.

“It sounds cheesy, but I literally do this every morning,” Lala told Ariana. “I look in the mirror and I literally talk to every part of my body and I’m like, ‘I love you.’”

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Moving away from the abuse element perhaps a hair too quickly, Lala—who has had a fair amount of work done on her face and body but let’s just go with this—elaborated on her self-love routine in an interview with producers.

“My mom taught me at a very young age to be thankful for every part of your being,” she said. “I don’t love my feet, but I thank them, because they walk me around. I thank my hands, even though I think they’re man hands. They give great hand jobs. I thank my little kitty cat because it takes that D like a champ.”

Once again:

“I thank my little kitty cat because it takes that D like a champ.”

Lala’s Prayer, as I have come to think of it, demonstrates her 180-degree turn this season from a person who said “I can see that everybody here has not been working on their summer bodies” to semi-problematic empowerment queen and all-around girls’ girl. And yet, I do not care how sincere this was. All I know is that I am thankful for Lala Kent, TV’s most morally inconsistent thought leader and the only woman alive who can call her vagina a “kitty cat” and leave me feeling inspired.