I Bet I Could Whup Prince William's Ass at Skeeball

Today, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visited Barry Island, off the coast of South Wales, to hear about the very dire impacts of the coronavirus on the British summer tourism industry. Among the spots they stopped: an arcade, where they took a moment to play a few games. Having seen the pictures, at the risk of sounding overconfident: I bet I could take the future monarch of the United Kingdom at any arcade game, up to and including skeeball, if only by virtue of my greater familiarity with vaguely sticky public places.

I feel safe saying that Prince William has never been anywhere like Coney Island or the Georgia National Fair in Perry in his entire life. (And certainly not without a troop of photographers and a security detail.) He is accustomed to rarified spaces—places absent the scents of fried onions and decades-old grease—unlike myself, a woman deeply experienced with such locales.

Apparently the pair visited the arcade where the TV show Gavin & Stacey was filmed, a very popular British show from 2007 apparently co-created by none other than James Corden, in case you were wondering where that man came from, anyway.

I’ll roll you for the crown jewels, Will, anytime, you name the venue, you bring the loot. Maybe put on a mask, first, though.