I Appreciate This 93-Year-Old Woman Who Tried to Get Herself Thrown in the Slammer as a Dying Wish

My number one bucket list is to get Harrison Ford to re-enact the “I love you,” “I know” scene with me, because I am a very disturbed individual who lives life exclusively through Star Wars. But some people like to live in the “real world,” and so their pre-death goals might be slightly different. Take, for instance, Josie Birds, a 93-year-old U.K. woman who got cops to arrest her before she kicked it.

According to the Guardian, Birds’s granddaughter, Pam Smith, asked the Greater Manchester police to cuff her grandmother and take her to a precinct, for funsies. Much like one hit wonder Willa Ford (never forget), Birds really wanted a chance to be bad before she departed this cruel earth. “She is quite poorly and wanted to do something like this while she still has the strength to enjoy it,” Smith tweeted last week. “She’s been good all her life (she says….) and wanted to have an experience to remember!”

It seems like Birds had a nice time:

I am impressed with Birds’s creativity, though I do feel like she could have taken it further, like becoming a hardened criminal or a masked vigilante. But, again, we all have different retirement plans—when I shared this story with Gizmodo’s Tom McKay, he told me that if he were 93, he’d ask “to fuck Daniel Craig,” adding, “presumably just….. very slowly.” Leave your equally disturbing bucket list items in the comments, please and thank you.