I Agree With This Woman Who Is Mad About Pizza Thievery

If someone accompanies you to the pizzeria and says they don’t want pizza, there is a 99.999% chance they are lying.

De’ja Davis took her boyfriend Dee Breezy with her to the pizza shop, and he said he didn’t want anything. As soon as the plate landed he tore off a chunk and shoved it in his lying mouth. Then he had the balls to record and share her righteous anger about it. You think that’s funny, Breezy? You are wrong. You are rude.

Everyone lies about pizza, and I am as sick of it as this lady. When you order pizza delivery in a big group, and only a couple people say they want it, order twice as much. When that pizza shows up, people are gonna be on it like flies on the body of a pizza pie. Admit what you want, pizza thieves, and we can make peace (of pizza)!


Her boyfriend, of course, is just mocking Davis even more for her completely correct opinion that he is being an assbutt:



Thank goodness for this other dude though, because this is total gas lighting horse shit:


Okay. Doxxing is wrong, but if I had this dude’s address I’d be delivering anchovy pineapple slices to his apartment all night long.

Contributing Writer, writing my first book for the Dial Press called The Lonely Hunter, follow me on Twitter @alutkin

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SarsAttacks'll take the wine with the gravy

The thing is, he wanted chicken, she bought him chicken, she asked if he wanted pizza, he said no, he nibbled hers, pretended he didn’t want any, and then ate the original fucking thing anyway when she bought herself a whole other slice. This fucking guy is too much work, he’s a goddamned liar, and he can fuck off with his passive-aggressive wankery and power issues around food and whether she’s spending enough money on him. Fuckssake.