5. The dialogue is a little stilted — sure, Brits are supposed to be awkward and everything, but we can talk in full sentences and don't always run out of the room in moods when people threaten to mention our feelings.


6. Frankie has a tattoo that is the Japanese symbol for lust. No.

7. I never thought I'd be saying the L-Word was realistic, but in Lip Service there really doesn't seem to be a straight woman in all of Glasgow. And after a mere flash of the tattoo and a moody stare, the countless lesbians are all shooting yearning glances at one or other of the main characters.


8. Okay, fine, this is actually a positive: the writer Harriet Braun explains why her ex dumping her inspired her to write the series in a blog on the BBC website. I find tales like this inspiring.

9. Er...

10. Hell, who am I kidding? I loved it.

Anyway, as the saying in London goes, we're kind of dez for this to turn out to be good, so we just hope there'll be some better dialogue down the road and less of the moody I'm-so-complicated-I-can't-talk bits. And just the same amount of sex would be fine.