May is National Masturbation Month! Perhaps you’d like to celebrate by purchasing a new vibrator or dildo? Whether it’s your first time or you’re looking to upgrade or try something new, we’ve got some helpful hints to assist you in shopping for a sex toy. We asked Lux from our sexy sister site Fleshbot as well as writer, speaker, educator and activist Dr. Carol Queen, of Good Vibrations, to share their expert advice.
Let’s say I have never ever bought a sex toy, but I’m curious. Where do I begin?
Carol Queen:
First, consider what you already know you like, sexually, assuming you’ve had some experiences already. Are you more into clitoral and vulva stimulation than being penetrated by a finger/penis/something else? Or vice versa? If the former, try a vibrator made for external use — the Hitachi Magic Wand, the Laya, JimmyJane’s Form 3 (video here) — there are many of these. (Plus even if you get something that could be inserted, there’s no law that says you must use it that way.) If vaginal play floats your boat, you’d want a dildo or a vibrator that can be inserted — the Gigi, the Seduction, there are also many of these. A variant of this is G-spot play, and some toys are specifically designed to curve in and hit the spot. And if you’re a “cake and eat it too” person, either get two toys — one for each hand! — or the a Twice As Nice style like the Rabbit Pearl, made famous on Sex And the City. If insertion sounds like a sexy thing, make sure you choose a size that you like. Ordering something too big or small won’t give you your optimal experience.
Lux:
Think a bit about what your budget is. Sex toys can range from the ultra affordable to the ultra expensive —and you don’t want to break the bank only to find out you’ve invested your life savings in a toy you don’t actually like. As a general rule, a more expensive toy probably won’t give you better orgasms than a cheaper one — it’s just more likely to last longer, be made of higher quality materials, be rechargeable, etc. You’ll probably get a longer lasting, better made toy if you spend more, but if you’re just figuring out what you like, you’ll probably be better off buying something on the cheaper end of the spectrum—and then investing in an upgrade when you have a better idea of what works for you.
Wait, so more expensive sex toys are BETTER sex toys? Or can you get something pretty good for a good price?
Carol Queen:
More expensive toys tend to be made of better-grade materials and very often will last longer than less expensive ones; in addition, they will often have extra-fab qualities like more vibrational strengths and patterns, recharging units, and such. One company makes vibes that buzz to the beat of the music on your MP3 player! But you can get a toy that’ll make you perfectly happy for less, too — it may not last as long, but if you like the look of a less expensive toy or it’s what you can afford, get it! It’ll help you decide what elements you like so that when it’s time to buy toy number 2, you’ll have a better idea about your optimal ride.
You can try on clothes. What’s the best way to “try” a sex toy, since you can’t take it home and then return it?
Carol Queen:
Good Vibrations has always put demo models out so people can touch them and choose according to texture, hard/softness, and vibration. It’s the one element that really makes live shopping better than online shopping, though a good site will give you lots of information, which is always helpful. (Good Vibes developed a Volume/Intensity scale to help you compare how loud and strong your vibe will be; it’s listed on our website and in our catalogs.)
Lux:
Most of the sex toy stores that I’ve been to have their wares on display, and you’re allowed to play with and examine them.
• Find out how intense the vibrations are. A funny little trick I’ve heard: if you want to see how a toy’s vibrations will feel on a clitoris, try pressing it to your nose (which, fun fact, is way more sensitive than your hands). It wont feel exactly the way it might on your ladyparts, but it will give you some idea of what you’re getting into.
• Take a look at the controls. This is something that I consider super important — even though it doesn’t get a lot of discussion in most sex toy talks. Think of it this way: when you’re in the middle of a hot and heavy session with your sex toy, you’re going to want something that’s intuitive and easy to use. Personally, I prefer toys like the JimmyJane Form 2 (video here), which has three buttons — one to increase the strength of vibration, one to decrease the strength of vibration, and a third to toggle through the toy’s different pulse patterns—but you may find that you like something different. Play around and see what set ups make the most sense to you.
• See how big it is. This one should be self explanatory — but keep one thing in mind. Because sex toys are made of materials that are firmer than body parts, a sex toy is likely to feel bigger than it looks. A silicone dildo feels way bigger than a flesh cock of comparable size (and, correspondingly, a stainless steel dildo of a similar size feels even bigger than both of those).
• See what it’s made of. That will give you some idea of what it’s going to feel like downstairs (if it’s soft or hard; ridged or smooth; and so on).
• See what color it is. A lady should only buy a sex toy if it properly matches her outfits and decor. (I kid, I kid!)
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