We’re nearly halfway through May, which means time is running out if you aspire to be the twee-est domestic goddess in all the blogosophere come summertime, a season ripe with opportunities to display your homemade gingham-print macarons and pensive bespectacled husband conveniently trapped in a terrarium. (Instagram that, bitches.) Don’t fear: here’s a step-by-step action plan to get you in perfectly whimsical shape by June.
Week One: Dress the Part
Entry-level: Think flower garlands are for five-year-old ballerinas or brides who get married by the May Pole at the Renaissance Fair? Think again! You’re nothing but a crafting amateur if you don’t own at least 7 handmade floral crowns for every day of the week.
Intermediate: Tape stars to your knees to illustrate how unpredictable you are. Not for the nominally cutesy or those who get sweaty on the back of their knees when it’s hot out; the tape won’t stick.
Advanced: Repurpose your old “work” clothes into aprons and/or picnic blankets.
For the hopelessly inept asshole who makes fun of lifestyle bloggers because she can’t stencil to save her life: Construct a wind chime out of the remnants of the Mason jar you shattered yesterday when you tried to drink cold, stale tea while lying down in bed.
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